lxforever

“Throw your soul through every open door / count your blessings to find what you look for / turn my sorrow into treasured gold / you pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow… // Don’t underestimate the things that I will do / there’s a fire starting in my heart / reaching a fever pitch / and it’s bringing me out the dark”

—Adele

“…The problem is, third-graders can’t exactly spell ‘rapping’ correctly…”

—comedian Trevor Anderson (not the one I liked the most but still good), 3/3/11

Hola. Yesterday was: a pretty cool comedy show/another Date Night USA with Jeff, including Black Sheep pizza + me finding a comedian I really enjoyed but whose name I cannot spell apparently and therefore cannot find. Also, discussion of interrobangs and invention of the word interrogato, and conjuring up interrobang fanatics. Also discovery of the best family practice doctor in Minneapolis ever, seriously if you need a rec email me or comment.

This weekend will be: Jenny coming to visit!, getting hairs cut, hanging out, eating well, playing games, etc. Then back to work. March Is Busy. Lots To Do.

The rest of this entry will be Michael J.-style.

Things that are important to me, in no particular order (incomplete):

-family (which includes Jeff as he is my family too duh)
-down time
-eating well & as close to whole foods as I can, & good food in general
-financial security
-peace of mind
-being physically active
-stretching
-travel to new/old places, esp. w/ Jeff
-alone time
-living close in
-social justice in general
-(among many others) gay issues and income inequality in particular (lately)
-a generally healthy lifestyle
-getting enough sleep
-dreams
-staying in touch
-eating produce
-nostalgia about everything
-memories + dwelling on good times

(SIDE NOTE/SITE NODE: Yes, it’s true. I am one of those people who LOVES working out/going to the gym. I would hate myself if I weren’t me, ha ha. I took a lot of this week off as Jeff did and I am already raring to get back into it. Getting a workout in after work today is very very appealing and I am already excited.)

A list of things I ingested yesterday:

-water
-vitamins
-a spoonful of sunflower butter
-a grapefruit
-two hard-boiled eggs
-water
-macadamia nut-white chocolate Luna bar
-plain yogurt with honey and strawberries and blueberries
-celery/carrot sticks/pea pods and Moroccan bean dip
-a clementine
-water
-crackers and two kinds of cheese
-a sunflower butter + jam sandwich on bread
-a banana
-1919 draft root beer
-water
-a romaine, mushroom, + tomato salad with some kind of dressing
-half of a tomato, green pepper, and Kalamata olive pizza that was the most beautiful pizza ever made
-oatmeal with brown sugar and milk
-water
-chocolate-covered pomegranate seeds

There you have it. Patty Mentino time.

I’m having a hard time. It comes and goes.

The reasons/the rest isn’t long for this blog, but as I realized I used to be a lot more transparent ‘back in the day’, I thought this was worth putting out there.

Trying to keep my chin up. Happy March.

Mostly for my own reference. Not yet giftbox-list-worthy, perhaps, because I’m not 100% sold on any of this (nor am I raking it in at this point either).

-bike trainer (for winter/basement?)
-music stand (to work in conjunction w/ above for media)
-somewhat more serious Bike Rack for the back of my HS bike to start making it into a commuter bike (hello $5 gas)
-bike clips? road/racing-type bike?
-nutritional yeast for vegan cooking opportunities
-working bathtub
-stickier yoga mat (note: I think I can do this with my current Target one just by washing it, but I am somewhat afraid of ruining our washer). Or maybe one yoga mat for home, one to keep at work. I don’t know though.
-Kindle? I know, I know, I know, TOO MANY DEVICES but…they seem so good for what they’re supposed to do.

So….pretty much all bike stuff. Ha. I really would like to bike to work at least once/week once it gets nice out. I know there is some trepidation about this but I have found a route that takes me along the river and shouldn’t take more than an hour one way (10 miles). So…..please please let this happen! Gas is $!

Unrelated:

Jeff got me the most amazing flowers for Valentine’s day that are still going strong, 10+ days later. Wow! They are so so lovely and surprising.

I have 129759475 books I was going to read this year and can’t get into any of them. What will it take? The books are just too heavy ha ha ha.

Taxes are done. Taxes for us are no longer fun. LOL.

Window tax credit extended = more new windows for us perhaps?

2012 isn’t until 2012. FYI.

“Man! I got to spend the WHOLE DAY playing videogames…except for the three hours I spent shoveling this morning…DANG IT!!!”

“It’s like we’re in college—it’s all dark, you’re on your laptop, I’m playing videogames and drinking beer, there’s Christmas lights on in the kitchen…”

Lots of snow = snow day = lots of good stuff.

“It’s so hard to touch what is out of our hands / To know and to trust what the heart understands / Only the ones who believe / Ever see what they dream / Ever dream what comes true”

—Beth Nielsen Chapman

“If you want to be a Badger…”

(by the light of the moon)

“If you want to be a beer-drinking cheesehead commie…”

—Jeff, 2/19/11, during the hockey game

Have you ever heard a song in your dream? I totally woke up this morning from a dream where I heard that Beth Nielsen Chapman song. A big hit for me in winter/Season of 2000. I had totally forgotten about it. O dreams. So strange.

The stuff in WI is crazy. Good ol’ Madison. At least the Gophs had a couple of good hockey games.

More later.

Things I Didn’t Know I Loved

—

it’s 1962 March 28th
I’m sitting by the window on the Prague-Berlin train
night is falling
I never knew I liked
night descending like a tired bird on a smoky wet plain
I don’t like
comparing nightfall to a tired bird

The train plunges on through the pitch-black night
I never knew I liked the night pitch-blacksparks fly from the engine
I didn’t know I loved sparks
I didn’t know I loved so many things and I had to wait
until sixty to find it out sitting by the window on
the Prague-Berlin train watching the world
disappear as if on a journey of no return

—Nazim Hikmet, “Things I Didn’t Know I Loved” appears in Poems of Nazim Hikmet, translated by Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk.

Friday was a great day! I was just happy almost the entire day. So. Let’s see. EOTD (like Trike):

I went in to work early so I could leave early and run a bunch of errands before coming home to Hang Out! with Jeff. I got in a (very) quick workout at the gym (newly committed), showered there, then picked up a Cinnamon Dolce Latte + oatmeal at Starbucks on my way in to work. (Side note to self: CDLs are great w/ skim but not AS great w/o the whip, even if it seems like a good idea.) Got to work and walked in without freezing my face off for the first time in over a week—the warm-up, folks, was on its way! (47 today! I had my lunch outside on the front step!)

There was a pretty big announcement at work about whether or not we’d get to keep a department (doesn’t affect me at all but still a big deal), and it turns out we get to keep it/the 200ish jobs it has! So that was a great way to start the day. I then had my review which was terrific. My job is not perfect but there are a lot of things that I do love about it and one of those is my great boss. So that was fun. I mean, we don’t believe in formal reviews, so it was more just a chit-chat, but it was a good one at that. There are a lot of good things potentially for me and I am excited about that.

Oh yeah the day before was great too – I had ordered some Girl Scout cookies from my boss’s daughter and she sent them in with him along with the most adorable little thank-you note ever…soooooo cute! We also had a pizza lunch in our department where we chatted about inflation, which is soooooo nerdy but which I loved, even if I didn’t totally understand. I work with some very great, very smart nerds.

Anyway so that was great. THEN we rearranged some walls in our dept. and now I have a clear view out of a window which is awesome! We hardly have any windows in our space so that is very lucky. I spent a couple hours then rearranging my desk (while gchatting w/ Jenny) so I face toward the window and not the corner and I am overly excited about returning to this cool desk space on Monday. (OK, not THAT excited, but still.)

Left early and went on errands. First to David’s Bridal where the woman dealing with me was an absolute b*tch AAAAH. No idea why either. Just not a nice person! Picked up my dress for Sarah’s wedding and ran out of there, then called them immediately to complain. They were really nice about it though when I called so that helped.

Then to Mall of America to use my American Apparel Groupon. (Side note, my Dad bought his first Groupon last week. I have no idea how that went but I am very proud of him.) The gals at American Apparel were seriously the NICEST ever, even though I hung around there F O R E V E R, and they more than made up for my super shitty David’s Bridal customer service experience. I got some great basics (their knee socks are my favorite!) and then went to the last stop, Target. Mostly I go to Target to get FAGE but this time I also got salted chocolate and jellybeans, yay.

Home, showered because I felt gross, then made us artichoke and olive pizza! We watched the hilarious Office Valentines episode. Jeff then watched the hockey game while I watched Grey’s Anatomy (yes, still addicted) which took forever since the ABC Player is sucking, oh well. I stayed up LATE for me and even outlasted Jeff, and finally went to bed at midnight.

It was just such a nice day…I was so happy all day and a lot of good things happened, small or no. It made me remember how lucky I am to live my life!

The rest of the weekend was very nice, too. Skated Saturday and today, in the sun and WARM weather (!!!), and my skating is definitely improving. I ate my lunch out on the front step today, it was so warm (47!)…and sunny! I did our taxes finally which wasn’t great but I am glad to have it done. Better than last year, anyway! Went to the gym with Jeff for a great workout yesterday too and then stayed in and made white chili in the crockpot for dinner (fueling my tax-doing). I made chocolate truffles today which are AMAZING and also went for a nice walk around the neighborhood. I also made gingerbread hearts to take to work/eat with tea. I now have a pile of dishes to do and then will make dinner. (Reading a lot of food blogs = I am spending WAY too much time in the kitchen, however what can I say, I enjoy it!) I meant to do freelance today too but failed…..that baking takes much longer than I thought! Soon though.

Anyway it was just such good times I thought I should write about it. More to say but dishes await me. Happy Valentine’s Day!

I love when I look in my WHO_OWES_ME.txt file and see this:

“all settled up.”

I am printing out tax forms. Somewhat afraid but it must be done….eventually.

Wine and pizza first.

“All my life I’ve been good / but now / whoaaaa I’m thinking, ‘What / the hell?’ “

—Avril Lavigne

“Meet me at the Malt Shop!”

—Jeff

(Also, insert lyrics from Six Days At The Bottom Of The Ocean, if they existed.)

Man. Stellar weekend. Deep deep dreaming. Gymnastics obsession (all day I dream about…). Where to begin?

Weekend is easier. What a lovely one at that. Friday we started our evening early for a Super Date Night! Skating (breaking in my new skates…very, very nice!), then Blue Valentine (good but not excellent), then Malt Shop (“Meet me at the Malt Shop! / forget about your boyfriend!”). (+ Yellow Room Hotel!) Fun fun fun night.

Slept innnn Saturday then up and at ’em. I managed a pretty crummy but good-to-be-outside run in the 24ish degrees…slush and clouds and all. Off to do some crafting, then met up with Jeff and Jack and Laureen at Annie’s. Malty weekendy. Delicious chocolate cola, I forgot how good those things are. Off to the gymnastics meet! Air Force was no match for the U but had pretty leotards…plus, those girls are going to be flying fighter jets soon, as Jack pointed out. Impressive! The U had a pretty terrific meet and it was really fun to see their butt-kicking on floor. Home to hang out, read, email, etc.

Sunday I got up early and got crackin’ on the crock pot. Kind of obsessed…especially on Sundays. I also made myself some oatmeal scones and hot fresh coffee. COFFEE!!! Finished up my cutting and rinsing and put-together-ing in the kitchen and enjoyed a fresh scone with an amazing grapefruit (thank you Jeffrey!) and HOT COFFEE while watching the glittery snow falling against a blue sky. Reading. Heaven. Off to swim where I banged out a good 2000m or so and felt wonderful. Didn’t even have to share a lane, and did much left-side breathing. I love swimming sooooooo much (but not as much as I love my bike). So peaceful and meditative.

Home where Jeff was STILL posting things on Craigslist. Much $ to be made apparently. We then watched Auburn vs. Georgia and I made myself a POACHED EGG ha ha ha and some sauteed spinach. Lots of good Sunday eating. Made the mistake of putting in 1998 L8 DVDs for Jeff after the Auburn-Georgia meet…Jeff wanted to know why our bar routines were so short?! Ha! Still so fun, loved that year. I kind of wouldn’t mind reliving 1998 to be perfectly honest. Or a lot of HS. Yes, I know, I’m a freak. Got to the freelance and all of that and it was grand. Dinner and early to bed. Craigslist/lavalamp shenanigans. Good good sleep. The End.

(And then deep, creepy dreams. Almost multiple levels deep. I was very afraid when I awoke.)

Gymnastics…watching the 1998 L8 season seriously put me in awe of what my body could once do, and made me finally realize how far away I am from that now (and am 99.9% sure I will never be back there again, but, you never know, hahaha). Sure, I can do things now that I couldn’t do at all (physically, I mean) at 16, but damn! Backhandsprings on beam? Aerials on beam? COMPETING? So crazy. Also, I was a lot smaller physically so that probably helped (um, not that I intend to regress to a semi-child’s body, LOL!). I couldn’t believe I stuck multiple beam routines with all of these skills, either, HA!

It also made me realize how much I loved USAG JO Optional meets…loved it. Even as afraid as I was. Just watching it gave me that feeling again; how grand it was indeed. (Clearly, I can’t put this into words…so I’ll stop trying.) Side note, Jan. 31st ish was so awesome in 1998/2000. Great gymnastics happening those weekends IIRC. Lots of 9s! OK enough.

OK. Off to mentee hour in the snow, snow, snow. Happy Monday/end of January.

“But I knew exactly where I was / and I knew the meaning of it all”

—Smashing Pumpkins, Muzzle

“You would play ‘Fantasy Hopscotch’ if it existed.”

—Jeff, 1/15/11

Nature … it’s funny.

I had a truly amazing, almost transcendental yoga class on Wednesday. I knew when the week started that it was going to be a good class, and when I got to it, indeed it was: my mind was focused and sharp, and my body felt like it was made to move that way. The biggest challenge for me in yoga is not the flexibility (duh; I have that in spades), but the mental component, the forcing of focus and clearing my mind of all other worries. I can’t imagine that a class like that comes along often, and I wish I could save that feeling somehow. But it was so good just to have.

I felt that all was right with the world, that I knew exactly where I was and that I was exactly where I belonged. Surprisingly, I still feel this way, or am starting to: that where I am is where I’m meant to be. It’s a good feeling, and another good sign of a hopeful 2011.

Anyway! Enough blather. I’ve had a pretty solid weekend as well, and still have tomorrow off, too. Yeaaaahhh. Friday I spent hardly a half hour with the high school gymnasts, but it was still worth it; then home for dinner and an early bedtime. Saturday got up early and shoveled and then went to Greg’s mom’s memorial in Elk River with Jeff and Erik. Always fun to hang out with Erik, and the memorial was very nice. We talked tea and counterfeit money—seemingly appropriate.

After the memorial, Jeff and Erik dropped me off at the U for the HIGHLIGHT OF MY WEEKEND thus far which was seeing my cousin Lauren swim in her meet against the Gophers (she swims for Mizzou—go Tigers! she even got me a swim cap) slash spend time with my Iowa-loving family members. Roll call! Allison, Patrick, Jackie, (Uncle) Mike (Patrick)[there’s a lot of Mikes], Glenn, Barb.

It was so cool to see Lauren swim in the meet and see her name on the scoreboard and everything. She looked like a real professional! We got to give her a quick hug before they boarded the bus and even met her cute boyfriend. The swim meet was exciting overall, too, and it was fun to catch up with everyone during it too. I don’t see those Marshalltown folks enough and missed Allison at Christmas so that was especially nice. We chit chatted about our jobs and what WE would do if we were in charge. Hah.

My aunts and uncles then took us/me out to the Town Hall where I enjoyed a chicken pita and a coconut IPA beer (yes indeed). Glenn approved of Mike’s ordering choice and we then proceeded to eat all of Mike’s beer bread. Hah. The ladies discussed babies and weddings and the men discussed engineering and beer. (Sensing a theme to these events?!) Patrick quietly enjoyed his beer sampler. Allison and I commiserated over Lazy Younger Siblings and Patrick proceeded to amuse us with his declaration of ‘working’ on Wednesday for ‘the people, you know, who want me to work. The work people.’ ‘What will you do?’ asked Allison. ‘You know. Work.’ said Patrick. Allison rolled her eyes at me and I immediately died laughing. OH YOUNGER SIBLINGS!

(I had even more instruction on Younger Siblings on the ride home with Barb and Glenn, when we discussed Matt working over break. Ahhh yes.)

Came home and was supposed to attend a B52s Lava/Volcano party for A-K but could not muster it up to do so…just did not feel right! Plus, I’ll be honest, I’m having hard time leaving the house when it is so dark and cold. So, I’m sorry to everyone about that. Watched some of the Packers killing it and then fell asleep early. Up this morning and listening to The Social Network soundtrack, answering emails, and updating the blog. Today: cleaning, baking, cooking, running?, maybe WordPress. Tomorrow: shopping and drawing and sewing.

A grand weekend spent with family and Jeff and wifely/crafty things. Yessssss.