lxforever

“Hark how the bells! / Sweet silver bells / All seem to say / Throw cares away!”

—Mykola Leontovych & Peter J. Wilhousky

“Silent night, holy night! / Shepherds quake at the sight / Glories stream from heaven afar / Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia / Christ the Savior is born! / Christ the Savior is born”

—Franz Xaver Gruber & Joseph Mohr

“You mean Jesus was born on CHRISTMAS DAY?!”

—anonymous

Healthy, alive, and able. This was the thing I kept reminding myself of while we were an unknown-percentage into our horribly vomit-strewn journey to Madison on Friday. Nothing sadder than a little two-year-old covered in puke despondently looking up at you and saying “I throw up!”, tears glistening in fluorescent, as you both trudge to yet another gas station bathroom for cleanup. No use getting worked up when you’re halfway between nowhere and the only thing left is to push on (thank God for baby wipes), and the sickie is already distraught herself. Wow, that was not fun.

But we’re all healthy, alive, and able. (Even as we arrived in Madison and the sickness ripped through the rest of us, yuck.) That’s no small thing. To watch a 5-year-old read and write and make friends and invent stories and tap dance on a stage; to watch a 2-year-old draw her first recognizable picture, dance and twirl and run across the room without worry; these things aren’t always a given, so what an honor it is to witness. To joke with a healthy husband who should be here for years and years to come is not to take for granted, so what a privilege it is to have. To have family near and far with whom to celebrate, these holidays and these triumphs and everything in between, it’s a gift. Not everyone can throw cares away and delight in the present/these presents (isn’t that ever starker as the years and our country grow crueler), and I am incredibly lucky.

I was going to write something here about how I hope I do what I can to help those who aren’t as lucky, but as I sit in the comforts of my home with the toys from ‘Santa’ around the tree, this sentiment rings incredibly hollow, so I’ll just say good will to humans, and on Earth, peace. Merry Christmas!

I’m back bitches! JK, you thought I meant blogging, but I don’t. I just mean in general……mostly work, but also working out/life….I remember I felt similarly shortly after Kindergartener1 turned 2 as well. KNOCK ON WOOD.

Work has been going surprisingly well, we have a big cool project to get underway in 2019 so there’s that, plus general performance ass-kicking which is the name of the game I guess. In the most positive way! Health is generally good for all which is always a gamble/hugely positive, including some generally good news we just got for my mom, woohoo! Kindergartener1 and Toddler2 are thriving and playing pretend together all over the house and yelling “Ah yeks sah! Weepeat iiiit!” to our newly acquired tech. Jeff is newly 41 and newly richly caffeinated and we had the most wonderful trip to NYC for 10 years of marriage which I’d love to repeat (the trip and the solidly wonderful 10 years, over and over). There’s just enough time for just enough friends and fitness to keep me going, if quickly, and books are always there for me, too. I’m not sure what that means overall except it’s this: I have everything I ever wanted, so what do I want?

Perhaps I will revisit this theme on the Christmas Eve Update (or not).

Someone left three tiny dragons at my desk this morning (“someone” = my ‘secret’ santa, which, so very NOT SECRET that is). Very cool. Along with candy.

My cousin’s Gradeschooler1 is turning out to be a fantastic gymnast. It tickles me pink! Love it.

And today is Stephie’s birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHIE!

& that’s all. That’s all you get. That’s all she wrote.

Partisan politics has destroyed the moral compass of America and Democrats are spineless to stop it. A screaming, senseless man can lie in the world’s greatest court and still be bequeathed a spot to judge on it—for LIFE. Women are everywhere but they aren’t seen and what they say doesn’t matter because party rules and pain doesn’t matter, even to some people in my own (EXTENDED) family.

If you’re a woman, or know a woman, or care about women, or were born from a woman (shocker: EVERYONE ON EARTH), how can you watch and let this stand? When partisan politics let a female politician deride Franken one month and the next, laud a lying, seething Kavanaugh? To the highest court on earth? Consider for a moment what this means to women around you. Consider of your daughter or sister or friend or colleague found herself assaulted and now it’s clear is doesn’t matter—that you wouldn’t listen?

Supporting this is supporting power and privilege over justice, and while two Novembers ago I cried on the couch while watching this happen, I never knew it could get this bad. And I don’t know what I’m to do to stop it…it feels hopeless. Voting is one step, but is that even enough? What a false, fake time we find ourselves entering as the greatest country on earth.

I spent some time with Sharan and his family on Sunday touring the American Swedish Institute (new for me!) and generally catching up. They were visiting family and I got to meet Sharan’s wife Kyo and their son. I also ran into A-K and her wife Kristy while at ASI (not new for them, obviously!).

It felt like I already knew Kyo, which is funny, but she said the same thing. She said Sharan spoke often of his high school friends affectionately, and that she admired how much fun we all seemed to have. I said that as years have gone on, I’ve realized how lucky we all are, and how rare that is, and she agreed—she didn’t have that.

It was a scattered group, a bunch of nerds, and situational, but still it mattered. Jeff and I were talking this morning about situational relationships, regarding another matter, and while I think a lot of that was situational, circumstantial, sure, I still think we knew a lot more at 17/18 than we gave ourselves all credit for. We built a fun group.

AAAAAAAANYway. The point is it was cool and it’s cool to know I’m not the only one remembering it all fondly! And it is even cooler to know I’m building a lot of good relationships like that still today. People, I guess I’ve always attracted them.

OK now I am leaving, this post isn’t nearly as good as I envisioned on my drive in this morning, but I have a fun conference with fun people to go to 🙂 but I’ll miss my EXCEPTIONALLY FUN GROUP of people at home <3. Lots of good time with THEM coming up!

“34…35…36…shhh! I’m trying to set a record!…37…38…39…”

—Meatball, Peanut Butter and Cupcake

Today is my last day of being 36. 36 has been good. 37 sounds significantly older than a mere year, but, it is what it is. 17 and 27 both were quite good years so I am hopeful that this ‘7 is too (I don’t remember much about 07). For some odd reason, I am also looking forward to 38. And I wonder, what will 47 be like?

So there you have it!

Things I have been into lately:
-date balls
-barre3! (OBSESSED)
-reading (um, also my whole life)
-the upcoming Switch to Hot Coffee
-trying new recipes (mostly a fail)
-maximizing my new rushed too-early mornings
-watching Kindergartener1 make friends and make new friends make friends, a la me in days of yore (and still yet)
-This Is Us speculation
-birthday gift speculation
-working on my presentation for my work conference next week

Now it’s time for lunch.

Many emo posts about many important life events and thoughts and hearts were started and abandoned, mostly because Actual Life gets in the way, partially because I’m more conscious than ever these days about what I write about and share where. It’s funny that I spent so long sharing so much, and I never really cared because if you’re a sort-of narcissist, isn’t that the point?, but when it comes to these other people in my life—mostly/especially the little people—I really do care. I guess that goes to show what matters.

Anyway, it’s September. We now have a Kindergartener1, who is a gem, and a Toddler2 who’s totally 2 and acting it :), but in the best ways. We have a bunch of traveling coming up, all good, so it’s set to be a busy but fun fall. The year has gone fast and it will continue to go fast, and faster, forevermore. Cool weather and hot coffee are coming our way. Apples and pencils and crisp fall playground mornings. ET CET ERA. I also hope I can help my cousin Mike get a job.

What’s going on with my job? Mostly good things, it’s cool to work somewhere so long and have so many friends. BUT NOW I just heard we are going to the Fair so BYEBYE!

“I’m gonna have as much fun as I can and figure out the rest when I hatch out a plan”

—Outasight, Tonight is the Night

More Natural Rest has totally fallen by the wayside, but it also hasn’t, at all, because I’m so exhausted (generally in a good way!) that the rest I do get is pretty darn natural. I’m not sure what happened, but this year has shifted into more of a ‘GET IT, GIRL!’ mode. Actually I do know what happened.

1. Fell in love with and then joined a workout studio temporarily that I adore and that gets me out of bed to a 60-minute ass-kicking workout most days, and not just gets me going physically, but gives me confidence in what I can do the rest of the day, too (because it is so fun but so hard) – barre3. I’m sure I’ll get over it one day but for now it’s a good time.

2. Got a new boss (6 months ago) whom I adore who inspires me to get after it and get stuff done. Everything she says about why we’re doing things makes sense and makes work matter in the best way, plus she believes in us and is just really fun to be around. I can’t say more because of my whole not-say-things-about-work thing, but, yeah. It’s good.

So. It is no longer Friday, but now I shall do FRIDAY FIVES.

Five things that matter to me in a car once I look for a new car someday, in order:
1. Sunroof
2. Safety
3. Good fuel economy
4. Not very large or white
5. Affordable

Five physical skills I still hope to get/get back one day:
1. 10 pull ups
2. Press handstand (not from ground, that’s not possible for me)
3. Some kind of ‘big’ gymnastics tricks to show Preschooler1 (eg, beam routine, kips/giants, etc.)
4. Better and wider variety of yoga arm balances
5. Backwards skating

Five things I hope to do today:
1. Put together a swingset
2. Figure out birthday gifts for a bunch of people
3. Assemble favor bags for Preschooler1’s birthday
4. Drink coffee quietly while it rains (about to happen)
5. Take a breather, SEE: GET IT.

Five things about Kindergarten I didn’t expect:
1. To already get phone calls from the school (recorded, but still—welcoming us)
2. To have a ‘kindergarten playground night’ this summer to get to know others (I don’t really want this for me, but I do for Preschooler1, obviously)
3. To already have a teacher assigned (suspicion based on what I know: she is the best one)
4. To already have the PTA ON MY BACK UGH
5. To have a list of summer assignments(?!) on being kind

This shall be a Transition.

GET IT, GIRL!

Yesterday, five years after being diagnosed with what we were sure was soon-life-ending stage-four lung cancer, my Dad was diagnosed as cured. Science is amazing, he is a freak of nature in the best way, and what a miracle.

CONGRATULATIONS STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juicy Summer.

Gross title, but IMHO a fairly accurate description. I think by the calendar it is spring, but by the past few days it is summer, but by today it is winter, so, ??? The whiplash of mounds and mounds of a bitter April blizzard followed by 75+ degrees is a little jarring, and has left me wondering how to Be. I know spring is short here, but this was a little ridiculous.

Juicy = sweaty, obviously.

Juicy ALSO = your mind expands, with all the light and the ability to go outside without 947309573 layers, with all the extra time and comfort you can seek in nature, with all the energy that returns to you after months of feeling like you’re waiting, with the general blooming of everything.

Thank you Jesus! Also the weather.

CIAO.

A list of weather I would expect to have yesterday or today at this time of year:
Rain
Thunderstorms
Sunshine
Clouds
Fog
Wind

A list of weather I would not expect to have yesterday or today at this time of year, but did:
Almost a foot and a half of snow
More snow
Nonstop snow
Voluminous amounts of snow
Blizzard

A list of things I successfully made yesterday:
Coffee
Cinnamon rolls
Scrambled eggs
Many snacks
Black bean soup
Pickled onions
Veggie tray
Macaroni and cheese
Pink yellow cake
Many things with play doh
Chocolate vanilla frosting
Sushi rice
Stir fry

A list of things I successfully made today:
Chili
Smoothie
A decorated cake (w/ assist from Preschooler1)

A list of things I unsuccessfully attempted to make today:
Zucchini-carrot muffins (not enough wet ingredients and just BLAH)

A list of activities we have enjoyed recently:
Watching Cars, the movie
Playing restaurant
Play-doh
Making cards (aka scribbling and putting stickers on everything if you are Toddler2)
Playing in Amazon boxes (if you fit)
Magna tiles
Baking
Watching the kids baking championship show
Reading

A list of things I would like to write about but cannot:
My new boss (who is great)
Our supersmart kids (who are great)
The rest of my life (which is great, right now)