lxforever

Partisan politics has destroyed the moral compass of America and Democrats are spineless to stop it. A screaming, senseless man can lie in the world’s greatest court and still be bequeathed a spot to judge on it—for LIFE. Women are everywhere but they aren’t seen and what they say doesn’t matter because party rules and pain doesn’t matter, even to some people in my own (EXTENDED) family.

If you’re a woman, or know a woman, or care about women, or were born from a woman (shocker: EVERYONE ON EARTH), how can you watch and let this stand? When partisan politics let a female politician deride Franken one month and the next, laud a lying, seething Kavanaugh? To the highest court on earth? Consider for a moment what this means to women around you. Consider of your daughter or sister or friend or colleague found herself assaulted and now it’s clear is doesn’t matter—that you wouldn’t listen?

Supporting this is supporting power and privilege over justice, and while two Novembers ago I cried on the couch while watching this happen, I never knew it could get this bad. And I don’t know what I’m to do to stop it…it feels hopeless. Voting is one step, but is that even enough? What a false, fake time we find ourselves entering as the greatest country on earth.

I spent some time with Sharan and his family on Sunday touring the American Swedish Institute (new for me!) and generally catching up. They were visiting family and I got to meet Sharan’s wife Kyo and their son. I also ran into A-K and her wife Kristy while at ASI (not new for them, obviously!).

It felt like I already knew Kyo, which is funny, but she said the same thing. She said Sharan spoke often of his high school friends affectionately, and that she admired how much fun we all seemed to have. I said that as years have gone on, I’ve realized how lucky we all are, and how rare that is, and she agreed—she didn’t have that.

It was a scattered group, a bunch of nerds, and situational, but still it mattered. Jeff and I were talking this morning about situational relationships, regarding another matter, and while I think a lot of that was situational, circumstantial, sure, I still think we knew a lot more at 17/18 than we gave ourselves all credit for. We built a fun group.

AAAAAAAANYway. The point is it was cool and it’s cool to know I’m not the only one remembering it all fondly! And it is even cooler to know I’m building a lot of good relationships like that still today. People, I guess I’ve always attracted them.

OK now I am leaving, this post isn’t nearly as good as I envisioned on my drive in this morning, but I have a fun conference with fun people to go to 🙂 but I’ll miss my EXCEPTIONALLY FUN GROUP of people at home <3. Lots of good time with THEM coming up!

“34…35…36…shhh! I’m trying to set a record!…37…38…39…”

—Meatball, Peanut Butter and Cupcake

Today is my last day of being 36. 36 has been good. 37 sounds significantly older than a mere year, but, it is what it is. 17 and 27 both were quite good years so I am hopeful that this ‘7 is too (I don’t remember much about 07). For some odd reason, I am also looking forward to 38. And I wonder, what will 47 be like?

So there you have it!

Things I have been into lately:
-date balls
-barre3! (OBSESSED)
-reading (um, also my whole life)
-the upcoming Switch to Hot Coffee
-trying new recipes (mostly a fail)
-maximizing my new rushed too-early mornings
-watching Kindergartener1 make friends and make new friends make friends, a la me in days of yore (and still yet)
-This Is Us speculation
-birthday gift speculation
-working on my presentation for my work conference next week

Now it’s time for lunch.

Many emo posts about many important life events and thoughts and hearts were started and abandoned, mostly because Actual Life gets in the way, partially because I’m more conscious than ever these days about what I write about and share where. It’s funny that I spent so long sharing so much, and I never really cared because if you’re a sort-of narcissist, isn’t that the point?, but when it comes to these other people in my life—mostly/especially the little people—I really do care. I guess that goes to show what matters.

Anyway, it’s September. We now have a Kindergartener1, who is a gem, and a Toddler2 who’s totally 2 and acting it :), but in the best ways. We have a bunch of traveling coming up, all good, so it’s set to be a busy but fun fall. The year has gone fast and it will continue to go fast, and faster, forevermore. Cool weather and hot coffee are coming our way. Apples and pencils and crisp fall playground mornings. ET CET ERA. I also hope I can help my cousin Mike get a job.

What’s going on with my job? Mostly good things, it’s cool to work somewhere so long and have so many friends. BUT NOW I just heard we are going to the Fair so BYEBYE!

“I’m gonna have as much fun as I can and figure out the rest when I hatch out a plan”

—Outasight, Tonight is the Night

More Natural Rest has totally fallen by the wayside, but it also hasn’t, at all, because I’m so exhausted (generally in a good way!) that the rest I do get is pretty darn natural. I’m not sure what happened, but this year has shifted into more of a ‘GET IT, GIRL!’ mode. Actually I do know what happened.

1. Fell in love with and then joined a workout studio temporarily that I adore and that gets me out of bed to a 60-minute ass-kicking workout most days, and not just gets me going physically, but gives me confidence in what I can do the rest of the day, too (because it is so fun but so hard) – barre3. I’m sure I’ll get over it one day but for now it’s a good time.

2. Got a new boss (6 months ago) whom I adore who inspires me to get after it and get stuff done. Everything she says about why we’re doing things makes sense and makes work matter in the best way, plus she believes in us and is just really fun to be around. I can’t say more because of my whole not-say-things-about-work thing, but, yeah. It’s good.

So. It is no longer Friday, but now I shall do FRIDAY FIVES.

Five things that matter to me in a car once I look for a new car someday, in order:
1. Sunroof
2. Safety
3. Good fuel economy
4. Not very large or white
5. Affordable

Five physical skills I still hope to get/get back one day:
1. 10 pull ups
2. Press handstand (not from ground, that’s not possible for me)
3. Some kind of ‘big’ gymnastics tricks to show Preschooler1 (eg, beam routine, kips/giants, etc.)
4. Better and wider variety of yoga arm balances
5. Backwards skating

Five things I hope to do today:
1. Put together a swingset
2. Figure out birthday gifts for a bunch of people
3. Assemble favor bags for Preschooler1’s birthday
4. Drink coffee quietly while it rains (about to happen)
5. Take a breather, SEE: GET IT.

Five things about Kindergarten I didn’t expect:
1. To already get phone calls from the school (recorded, but still—welcoming us)
2. To have a ‘kindergarten playground night’ this summer to get to know others (I don’t really want this for me, but I do for Preschooler1, obviously)
3. To already have a teacher assigned (suspicion based on what I know: she is the best one)
4. To already have the PTA ON MY BACK UGH
5. To have a list of summer assignments(?!) on being kind

This shall be a Transition.

GET IT, GIRL!

Yesterday, five years after being diagnosed with what we were sure was soon-life-ending stage-four lung cancer, my Dad was diagnosed as cured. Science is amazing, he is a freak of nature in the best way, and what a miracle.

CONGRATULATIONS STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juicy Summer.

Gross title, but IMHO a fairly accurate description. I think by the calendar it is spring, but by the past few days it is summer, but by today it is winter, so, ??? The whiplash of mounds and mounds of a bitter April blizzard followed by 75+ degrees is a little jarring, and has left me wondering how to Be. I know spring is short here, but this was a little ridiculous.

Juicy = sweaty, obviously.

Juicy ALSO = your mind expands, with all the light and the ability to go outside without 947309573 layers, with all the extra time and comfort you can seek in nature, with all the energy that returns to you after months of feeling like you’re waiting, with the general blooming of everything.

Thank you Jesus! Also the weather.

CIAO.

A list of weather I would expect to have yesterday or today at this time of year:
Rain
Thunderstorms
Sunshine
Clouds
Fog
Wind

A list of weather I would not expect to have yesterday or today at this time of year, but did:
Almost a foot and a half of snow
More snow
Nonstop snow
Voluminous amounts of snow
Blizzard

A list of things I successfully made yesterday:
Coffee
Cinnamon rolls
Scrambled eggs
Many snacks
Black bean soup
Pickled onions
Veggie tray
Macaroni and cheese
Pink yellow cake
Many things with play doh
Chocolate vanilla frosting
Sushi rice
Stir fry

A list of things I successfully made today:
Chili
Smoothie
A decorated cake (w/ assist from Preschooler1)

A list of things I unsuccessfully attempted to make today:
Zucchini-carrot muffins (not enough wet ingredients and just BLAH)

A list of activities we have enjoyed recently:
Watching Cars, the movie
Playing restaurant
Play-doh
Making cards (aka scribbling and putting stickers on everything if you are Toddler2)
Playing in Amazon boxes (if you fit)
Magna tiles
Baking
Watching the kids baking championship show
Reading

A list of things I would like to write about but cannot:
My new boss (who is great)
Our supersmart kids (who are great)
The rest of my life (which is great, right now)

“I was looking at ‘back issues’ of your website… -Jenny
Oh so I should update. -me
Yes you should. -Jenny”

—2/6/18

“I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.”

—Flannery O’Connor

So I’ve been putting off updating because I had at least a couple epic (um, IMHO) January posts in the backlog of my mind, pertaining of course to gymnastics, USA gymnastics, the horrors that the organization has bestowed upon some of our country’s greatest athletes, the weird guilt I feel for how wonderful I had it in my own USA gymnastics career, the nostalgia over general January-meet-feelings as per usual, high school and the weird thing that I am farther away from it than my kids are to it, how cool kids are in general, etc. HOWEVER. I did not get to ANY of this, and even now I should be doing yoga, taking a shower, getting ready for the day, NOT updating, and yet…as someone who thinks Most Highly Of Themselves, one of the best motivators for me to write here in particular is when I know folks (or a folk, aka Jenny) is reading. Hah.

Soooooooo….anyway. Thanks to the hereditary insomnia I never realized fully that I inherited, I have been up since 2:30 am. Yesterday it was 4:30, which felt ‘normal’ since I’m usually up by 5, 5:30, but 2:30 is NOT normal. I would like to start a support group and also just know how many people have this problem in general, but alas, when I don’t have time to properly meditate (or whatever!) every day, I’m not starting MORE Things. My life is full (in a great way! but I am intent on prioritizing as always).

I have a great new boss for whom I have major heart eyes, and a lot of interesting work going on, which is a huge shift from earlier in the year. HOORAY! It’s kind of amazing. I could never have guessed this would happen. I’m still cautious but a LOT happier.

I can now do a press handstand (*against a wall but still) again. I’ve been working out pretty minimally (yoga every day for like 15-20 mins, then maybe a strength workout a few times a week), but I got results! I’m planning on selling my secrets everywhere. Just kidding.

I think I have a reader and a walker. And the reader apparently just woke up and wants me. Adios!

“When no one else can understand me / When everything I do is wrong / You give me hope and consolation / You give me strength to carry on / And you’re always there to lend a hand / in everything I do / That’s the wonder / the wonder of you / And when you smile the world is brighter / You touch my hand and I’m a king / Your kiss to me is worth a fortune / Your love for me is everything / I guess I’ll never know the reason why / you love me like you do / That’s the wonder / the wonder of you”

—The Wonder Of You

“For auld lang syne, my dear / for auld lang syne! / we’ll take a cup of kindness yet / for the days of auld lang syne”

—Auld Lang Syne / dance recital

“It’s Superhero LX!”

—Preschooler1, looking at a Wonder Woman costume in Target, October 2017…game changer

First of all, from Google: “This Year, More Than Ever”

That sort of sums up the world this year, albeit in a much rosier way than it should be done. I have felt pretty terrible the past few years writing about how good the year has been to me. A lot of this is due to the hyperlocal issues of family health (read: it’s been good) mattering more than anything else to me, but still. When so many have had it so terrible this year, and for so many years, and we’re being led by those who are NOT going forth, first, with compassion, then…it’s hard and basically irresponsible to flaunt your joy.

And yet.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR: Without a doubt on earth, the family trip to Duluth/Superior. Outstanding. Tomato soup in a hotel room. Somersaults in the pool outside the door. A big aquarium, beautiful skyline drives, a rich butterscotch malt outside, the wonder of a hotel room, adventures indoors and out. Time together, time as four, time relaxed in a near and beautiful place. News of my cousin’s marriage at the end. Family happiness.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 2: Sisters trip (with babies!) to San Francisco in May for our nephew’s graduation. What an awesome adventure, so much sun and laughter and celebrating and cousin mayhem. Special little-girls time with the mommies. Just amazing.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 3: This is probably 1, but it goes without saying, my family being who they are, and their good health. The kids both learning and growing and amazing us every day. The Wonder Of You. Being together and being well. Vanilla and caramel/snow white and rose red/etc. I am so lucky to have my little family.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 4 (special number chosen for 40!): JEFF! He is simply the best. He has been so good to us this year, he is the only one I’d want by my side. He will read this and roll his eyes but it is 100% totally true. He was my rock through work drama, through not sleeping, through everything. I LOVE YOU JEFF! :*

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 5: Friends getting pregnant! Friends having babies! Friends becoming parents. Coworkers momming it up with me. The whole nine yards.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 6: My dear coworkers. The Big Six. Checkmate(TM). Having my WorkWives to keep me sane and guide me through. What an awesome gift it is to have that. How lucky am I. AND my dear friends, from all areas. Thank you for being there for me.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 7: Though due to some tumult, figuring out a little more about what my priorities are, what I want out of work (that it must be so, lol), and realizing…it’s OK to change your mind.

I’m going to stop there. 7 seems good for 2017.

NONHIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 1: USA GYMNASTICS. HORRIBLE. Enough said. Truly distressing and horrifying and I can’t believe they still exist as is right now.

NONHIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 2: All related and horrible things that have been and continue to be done to women and minorities and everyone who is less rich or less white or less whatever that means many see them as “less than”. What a horrifying time and realizations. Only plus side is we’re starting to talk about it now. Still.

NONHIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 3 (hyperlocal): Work horribleness. There are some terrible people out there and I work with some of them. What a bummer. (But on the flip side, I work with so many GOOD people, too!)

That’s enough for now. I meant to do one of those kickass EOY updates that sort of come together coherently and writer-like, but I’m writing this on borrowed time while Jeff sets up a remote, Toddler2 crawls around looking at buttons to push, and Preschooler1 reads a book about What’s Inside Your Body.

The idea for 2017 was to lead with compassion (and move more, check, and slow down, sort-of check), which turned into go forth, first, with compassion. I can do better at this. I owe everyone more. But if we all led with compassion—went forth, first, with compassion—what a wonderful world this could be.

2018? More Natural Rest. That sounds a little weird, but I think it sums it up (and maybe it’s chosen because I am sick and tired and worn out about now). But yeah. Get more sleep, read less on the phone. Get the kids to sleep more (ha! ha! hahahhahaha!). Rest in ways closer to nature. But also, find more natural resting points. Take them when they are there. Take a breath, take a glance up and away, take a pause. It seems extra important in this year that real school begins. And given some things I’ve learned about myself this year, through the work struggles and family joys and other challenges (concussion, some PT, etc), I’ve also determined it’s time for my career to come to a natural resting point. Not to slack, or be slow, but just to….be. I’m not sure how to make it look that way just yet, but I’ll find it. Just have to watch and wait.

Kindergarten is in 2018 (I think she’ll be just fine, but will her mom?), midterms will happen (sure to disappoint), it’s a year filled with 8s, which I generally detest. But I have a lot of hope about it, and a house full of wonderful people with whom to welcome it. Well, three people, to be exact. Happy New Year!