lxforever

I would just like to point out…

…that even *I* creep MYSELF out.

Seriously. I haven’t trolled stats reports in many, many years. I apparently have many more readers/lurkers(and bots) than I thought.

And yet I remain (hence creeping self out).

(Also, lurkers, make yourselves known! Chances are…)

That is all.

“She was from Kansas / worked in a dairy / eight brothers and sisters / Her mom said she was from France / and her mom said she was from France / but she was from New Mexico / and she was from New Mexico // And tonight, tonight / I will have to say goodbye, goodbye / goodbye, goodbye / tomorrow, tomorrow / if my heart is full of sorrow / I will call out for you”

—Emy Reynold, Tonight

“I’m a farmer!”

—Jeff, 6/19/11, planting raspberry bushes in the yard

time 10:56 am feeling hungry already wearing hott new maroon dress Diana has, but from Arc Value Village hey yo! music lots of EITS and pop ready for calming down! next investigation of YT code

Manic panic…no longer just a brand of nail polish, I was thinking about Things (SHOCKER) and realized that this is basically my LIFE. I’ve been Manic the past few weeks with a little Panic thrown in, now Panic is settling over me. I know, I know, everything will be fine, but this is just how I am. FUSSY.

We’re only in SD for 3 days but because it is so far away physically it seems longer/daunt-ier. I think I just HATE PACKING! (Jeff mocks me…)

BUT! Much excitement! Once we hit the road and I stop worrying about PACKING ha ha ha.

(I even took an autism test but apparently I am not even a touch autistic. I feel that this would explain many things about me, including my resistance to even PLANNED spontaneity…alas. I guess my super strong social skills preclude me from abusing this as an EXPLANATION.)

That all said, I had a bang-up weekend and couple of days ahead, followed by super wedding weekend 2011 OMG. SO! One of the more exciting discoveries of the weekend included ARC VALUE VILLAGE in Richfield. In need of a bit of a wardrobe refresh (hello PANTS DREAMS 2011), and in need of cheap thrills/solutions for Cheap Summer 2011, I took it upon myself to explore this goldmine. And that it was! 4 wonderful articles of clothing, one stop, $25. It might even make me not hate shopping.

I ALSO had an epic adventure ride yesterday, all the way up the river, around the U, then to the Stone Arch Art Festival, where I checked out some sweet art, saw my eye doctor’s new fancy office, and enjoyed a pomegranate iced tea whilst people watching (NOTE: I was thinking, ‘man I could go for iced tea’ and lo and behold such a booth appeared. KISMET. ALSO a theme of 2011, I hope). I talked to two random people, one old woman seeking the light rail by Minnehaha Falls, one man asking “Do you KNOW what this IS?!” at the art festival. YES. Then cruised back down the lakes on home, where I again encountered Alyssa + John + Axes. FATE. Kismet. Mucho gusto! I also embarked on massive yard-weeding. Accomplishment.

I have put it off but it must be done. SUMMER SCHEDULE 2011:

-Thurs-Sat: Off to SD! Sarah + Trent married! OMG!
-THEN in town for 11 days, must cram in as much socializing as possible
-7/9-7/13 Up North!
-THEN in town for 9 days
-7/22-7/25 Chi for Chris’s wedding (I hope)!
-THEN in town for…4 days. Wow. Lame.
-7/29-7/31 Madison for reunion!
-THEN in town for EVER or for 10 days…
-8/11-8/13 Madison for Ogbornes perhaps?
-THEN in town for EVER for REAL…but with:
—Conference DT 8/8-8/10
—Nats 8/18 WOO HOO!
—Ange’s wedding 8/20
—FAIR

Then summer of cheapness/love/etc. is OVAH.

I want to just be in Minneapolis alllllll summer long, so much opportunity, but this other stuff is stuff I love too. ALAS.

LIFE!

Stats!!

Randomness!!!

Out.

YES two updates in one day, DEAL.

“No, I should rest.” -me, on whether or not to work out tomorrow AM
“No, don’t. Become paranoid and anal like me. It’s fun.” -Jeff

That is all.

“LeRoy and the spirit he’s carried and permeated throughout our family during his lifetime.”

—Michael J. Mason

“And I cannot guess what we’ll discover / when we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels / but I know our filthy hands can wash one another’s / and not one speck will remain”

—Death Cab for Cutie, Soul Meets Body

Sitting here crying, which I guess I’m a little surprised about, but shouldn’t be. Happy Father’s Day LeRoy the Great, who gave me the family that makes my life and taught me how to be who I am. Reading over the obituary again only reminds me of what an extraordinary, seemingly ordinary person he was. I feel lucky to have had that in my life.

And I’ll never forget that Burlington pool + pizza party. Everything cousins are good for.

May he be in peace.

“Meet me halfway, right at the borderline / that’s where I’m gonna wait / for you / I’ll be looking out / night and day / took my heart to the limit, and this is where I’ll stay / I can’t go any further than this”

—Black Eyed Peas

“The universe is full of black holes / and anniversary nights”

—Smashing Pumpkins

“And I do believe it’s true / that there are roads left in both of our shoes / but if the silence takes you / then I hope it takes me too / So brown eyes I hold you near / ’cause you’re the only song I want to hear / a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere…”

—Death Cab for Cutie

“And when the cops closed the fair / I cut my long baby hair / stole me a dog-eared map / called for you everywhere…”

—Iron & Wine

“All you grandchildren…not a bad apple in the one of ya!”

—LeRoy Mason, 6/5/09

time 11:56 am feeling super wearing cool red shirt I had to sew while on my body, white eyelet skirt music pop + SP + Iron & Wine ready for more food next dev

I’m actually not in a melancholy mood at all right now (though if I listen to these songs much longer I definitely will be), but with Father’s Day falling on LeRoy’s day of death this year I’m a little more aware of it than I would be otherwise (even though it’s only two years). What a time that was. I’ve talked about it before, so no need to rehash too much (I am good at that, though), but it really made me once more extra-grateful for the family I was born into.

A special happy Father’s day to the patriarch of a family I am always grateful and amazed to be a part of, LeRoy The Great. RIP.

And extra-good thoughts to my cousins and the kids and especially my Grandma—everyone who still misses him so, and always.

—

OK! Moving along. I had an extremely not cool day with my Civic yesterday but all was restored and it’s back in decent shape (for the time being). AAAAAAH. I ended the day with an amazing grilled cheese and iced tea party with Diana, where we schemed up a new project (“I always love a good project!” —Diana, 6/15/11) and were accosted by a well-meaning woman who took Diana for an unemployed individual and me for her financial advisor (in gym clothes no less). That makes two random strangers accosting me in one week for those keeping track at home, but at least this one wasn’t obsessed with God/church. Ha! I think I just attract it somehow.

I am still amazed and so freaking grateful for how GOOD I’ve been feeling. Is it possible that bad things exist just to remind us of how good we have it? To make the bright times that much more vibrant? I don’t know, but I’ll take it. Drinking it in. If someone had told me I would feel like this in June back in Jan/Feb/Mar/etc., I would never have believed them. I am insanely lucky and taking this as it lasts. So happy.

Much different summer already in many ways. Heck yes. Keep it coming. Next up: weekend of tooling around on the bike, grilling, and getting ready for SD. Then: BLACK HILLS!

Out.

“Party rock is in the house tonight / Everybody just have a good time / And we gonna make you lose your mind / Everybody just have a good good good time”

—LMFAO, Party Rock Anthem

“I mean, I’m not funny when I try to be…I’m just naturally funny.”

—Chloe Theissen, 6/11/11

time 4:31 pm feeling fantastic wearing beautiful blue shirt! pants w/ new belt, heh heh heh, who knew belts were so useful (obv. not I…) music still pop music!!! ready for fixing bugs next bug fixing

FYI… I am making the song above my summer theme song. FYI.

Even though it’s actually completely inappropriate and horrible. Ahhh pop music!!! How I love thee!

Anyway. I took stock of my Very Busy Summer of Traveling (crazy dizzy summer 2011? Not sure yet. So far we’ve just got Reunion/Insomniac June) and decided that NOTHING will be accomplished this summer, other than my lofty summer goals at my actual (NOT freelance) job. Check! There’s just too much going on and a goldmine of social opportunity awaits me. I don’t believe I’ve felt this poised for fun in a long, long time…certainly not this year, anyway! HELLO to REAL 2011. I knew I was missing something.

I made a paper calendar of my very busy summer and meant to put it here but that seems potentially stressful. AVOID. Instead, you get A LIST.

A list of how my sisters are alike / how I am not like them:

-They both went to UW-Madison (I did not)
-They both got undergrad degrees in engineering and are/were engineers for awhile (I did/am/was not)
-They both have married/will marry men with last names beginning with O (I did not/will not)
-They do not fight with each other (I do…sometimes)
-They both live/lived in Chicago (I do/have not)

I’m sure there is more, example, I used to think they were both messy, but that is enough for now.

I had a bang-up weekend traveling to Madison to see Chloe graduate HS. For some reason I am really weirded out that Chloe is on her way to college! Few of the other little cousins bothered me. I think it’s because she’s REALLY little. (Wait til Ian goes…aaaaaah! As Christie pointed out “we will be [almost] 40!!!” OMG.) Chloe is so outgoing and friendly and funny, she just never fails to make me smile. AND as always it was wonderful to see my family. Even if I was accosted after dinner with my fam by a church-going weirdo wearing sunglasses inside. WTF?! (SIDE NOTE: I thought my Dad was disturbed by this, turns out he just couldn’t find his keys, ha ha ha.)

We came back early enough to enjoy our Sunday, too, AND I broke my June insomniac streak last night HELL YES!!! Amazing what 6+ hours of uninterrupted slumber can do for you. Not that I wasn’t already feeling amazing. Seriously, it’s like June is hardcore trying to make up for Jan/Feb/Mar/Apr. GIVE IT TO ME.

Sarah’s wedding next week. Full-on college reunion. Partying it up in the meantime. “Celebrate, we will!” Yesssssss.

“So I play goalie and last week I got hit by a soccer ball on my p…inkie.” —Peter “Wow, I thought that was going to go in a completely different direction…” —Lexi, under her breath, to Kristin and Amber…(poor Peter!)

—6/5/11

“We miss being ruffians, going wild and bright / in the corners of front yards, getting in and out of cars / we miss being deviants”

—The National

time 11:28 am feeling great wearing cool orange shirt just in time for super hot HEAT music lots of _pop_!!! ready for productivity next productivity…hopefully

So I’m gonna go ahead and call this Reunion June. Seven year college reunion in the Black Hills, anyone? YES PLEASE. Direct me there. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. I can hardly contain my excitement!!! TRUE TEN reuniting OMG. Thank You Sarah And Trent for making this possible with your awesome wedding. Just a little over two weeks to go. YESSSSSSS.

Also smashingly awesome weekend full of perfect weather. Is it possible to have too much light?! I think it’s been making me an insomniac. I am just so.excited. to finally have SUN! Clearly this time of year is when I’m at my best. Soaking it up while I’ve got it. Turning Point etc.

Things I am obsessed with recently:
-beets
-Bloomberg Businessweek
-NOT reading…I would like to change that, however :/
-still Greek yogurt
-berries
-still sunflower butter
-trying new recipes, esp. quinoa-based
-quinoa
-sparkling water with lime
-trying to make mojitos…weak ones, apparently
-hanging out!
-our new lilac tree

OK so that was mostly food. Whatevs.

We had some people over Saturday, kind of a random group, and it was supremely wonderful. Roll call! Dave, Diana, Bil, Heidi, Brigette. Such fun. Also, we need to see those GD04ers more often, I think. They crack me up. I also tried out…4?5? new recipes this weekend and most were v. successful (and most were from Eat Live Run, big surprise).

LOTS of biking too including an epic adventure ride Saturday, mini-Grand-Rounds, tried out the new connector path DT. LOVE! And Sunday I saw a snapping turtle AND Alyssa + John + Axes. Fate.

Now our fish is dying. 🙁 We got him spring water yesterday to no avail. At least he ate a speck of food today. Fish ICU.

I meant to accomplish much last weekend but instead accomplished NOTHING other than hanging out, biking, making food and eating it. Oops. This weekend it’s off to Madison for yet another JMM graduation…last one til 2021 (thanks to Rachel the Verona defector). Congrats Chloe!

“A catch for the chasing / A jewel for the choosing / A man for the making in this blistering heat”

epically awesome department lunch today. I was near tears from laughter. I love the bizarreness of people SO MUCH! Ahahahahaha.

Later.

“Let me tell you, when the bank teller was counting out all those 100 dollar bills, I almost fainted. So much cash!!!!!” -Jeff, 2011

“oh god / I have to talk money / I need an agent” -Jeff, 2008

Housepartytime!

“I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead / I lift my eyes and all is born again”

—Sylvia Plath, Mad Girl’s Love Song

“And see, no longer blinded by our eyes.”

—Rupert Brooke

“I didn’t know I loved sparks / I didn’t know I loved so many things and I had to wait”

—Nazim Hikmet, Things I Didn’t Know I Loved

“Until you die .. it’s all life.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

Quote heavy but sometimes the medium is the message, right? There are so many things I would love to write about right now, things involving perspective and time and casting away pain, but it’s just not the right arena. Suffice it to say that sometimes it’s hard to see struggling for what it is, or how hard it is, when you’re in it. And then you look back and think wow…that WAS pretty bad. And you’re glad to be out of that space.

Today I am grateful for patience, perspective, for things being better, for good people in my life, for moving ahead, for hope. For surrender.

Happy June / happy new month, new you.