lxforever

It makes me happy to see photos from my friend Sara’s elementary school class, where they just got a really nice, helpful projector for her classroom with the help of DonorsChoose. DonorsChoose. You may want to consider checking it out today.

It makes me happy that Jeff came home from seeing Titanic (with Sarah…sorry, seeing that 3+ hr movie once is enough for my lifetime) all romantic and cute, ha ha.

It makes me happy to take the bus in the morning and see a beautiful blue lake across from me while I wait at the stop.

It makes me happy that I am not the only person in this office who swears under his/her breath at his/her desk.

QUESTION:
What exactly is a ‘proactive meeting’?

QUESTION:
Did you think you’d be able to do giants (6!) still at age 30?

(ANSWER:
No. But it’s pretty cool!)

QUESTION:
When is the last April 5 on which you smelled freshly-cut grass in Minnesota?

QUESTION:
Do you know “A FREQUENTLY TRAVELING MAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”??

QUESTION:
Did you do your taxes?

QUESTION:
Did you realize it is both Barb and Jenny’s birthday months?

—

A List of Things I Can Do For You (the ‘Professional’ You):
-design a website
-make a website
-make a WordPress theme/site/set up a blog/etc.
-design a logo and/or other such things
-develop in Flash/Flex (even as these technologies are D-E-A-D DEAD)
-develop a (bare-bones, primitive) iPhone app in Xcode
-develop a (bare-bones, primitive) Android app (forthcoming)
-dabble in ASP/PHP/ColdFusion
-incorporate CSS3/vaguely HTML5
-develop CROSS-BROWSER and standards-wise
-write Javascript/be a JQuery DOMINATOR
-fix your production cycle/process
-prescribe a method for all sorts of things
-create wireframes
-create sitemaps/siteflow mapping
-write use cases (sort of)
-UX design (duh) and general graphic design (DUH), as mentioned above
-do pretty much anything expert in Photoshop
-do pretty much anything close-to-expert in Illustrator
-deal with InDesign/layout, sort of (I used to know Quark like a fiend…oh 9+ years ago….ha)
-draw things
-source things I can’t draw
-make icons
-design/develop your mobile website/figure that all out
-live tweet your event
-manage ‘social media’/whatever for your company
-manage projects/people/processes/’build relationships’ :P/alllll that annoying businessworldy stuff

ETC.

^ This list frightens me, actually. I’m not really sure how I managed to stack it up like that. Hmmmmmmmmm…

OUT!

ETA: And Connie’s birthday month. HAPPY 55 AUNT CONNIE! (who I hope does not read this site)

Not really…So, see ya later. (Time to finally come out and say it.)

Y’know, in case I wasn’t certain that this marked the End of my participation, at least for the foreseeable future:

When DeLaSalle senior Matt Bliss heard rumors that the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis planned to hold a mandatory school assembly to talk about marriage, and potentially gay marriage, he remembers thinking, “This is not going to end well.”

He was right.

“The first three-quarters of the presentation were really good,” said Bliss. “They talked about what is marriage and how marriage helps us as a society. Then it started going downhill when they started talking about single parents and adopted kids. They didn’t directly say it, but they implied that kids who are adopted or live with single parents are less than kids with two parents of the opposite sex. They implied that a ‘normal’ family is the best family.”

…

Hannah, who is adopted, said one of the presenters said that adopted kids were “sociologically unstable.” She called the comments “hurtful” and comparisons between gay love and bestiality upsetting.

^ FTR, this was something that happened at a mandatory assembly at a private school.

Done done done.

ETA: BY THE WAY – another GREAT gem, in case you don’t click over:

“We put two and two together,” said Hannah. “All of us will be able to vote next fall [on the constitutional amendment that limits marriage to same-sex couples].”

WTF?!

“I’ve tried hard / to mend my wicked ways / acted like a lunatic for years / Lord knows I try to be good / I’d keep my promises if only I could / you count your blessings that I can’t rely on you / And I tried / And I tried / And I tried / And I tried”

—Garbage, Wicked Ways

“Pruning The Elements Of Death In Your Life”

—@Horse_ebooks

“…So I don’t even know how you aren’t punching people in the goddamn face.”

—Diana, 4/3/12

“our emotions and how linear time is”

—@Horse_ebooks, again

time 12:32 pm feeling good wearing cool green shirt from my mom, pants, boots reading Bloomberg Businessweek catchup music GARBAGE ready for GTD next KILL IT

But no, no, Horse_ebooks, time is not linear at all, not at all. I live weird parts of it in my mind, and in music, the future and the past and whatever, nearly every day. Creepily.

QUESTION:
How do you all of a sudden find yourself holding out birthday/anniversary/etc. cards to your husband to add his signature to, hanging out with a movie or show and a pizza and your husband thinking it’s the Greatest Saturday Ever, and doing other things JUST LIKE YOUR PARENTS, and that just being The Way It Is?!?! And it is OK?? It just seems to happen, all of a sudden, and there ya go. HA.

Luckily I think my parents have a lot of things more or less figured out. But still. Amusing/amazing.

(NOTE: This is me. LOL.)

QUESTION:
How can you ask for PRAYERS for what is actually POSITIVE NEWS (therefore bragging in a prayer request…which, WTF?!?!) when there are MANY OTHER, REAL-ER, DARKER things going on in the world (and even in the SAME GROUP, really) that (a) actually merit prayer(if that’s what you’re into…) (b) go COMPLETELY unvoiced?!

(NOTE: This is NOT ME. EVER!!! I hope!)

I realize this is (a) risky (b) passive-aggressive (c) exhibitionist, since I can’t say more, but, WHATEVER. I am pretty offended, the more I think about this, and this method of expression, while crummy, is still MUCH better than the alternative which involves me responding directly. Which would be very unpretty.

UGH.

ANSWER:
An 11-year-old’s Solution to the Euro Crisis – Washington Post

Other than that, I am doing well. It is April. It is Jenny’s birthday month! Not to mention her wedding year :). For an amusing recap of Jenny’s crazy mind, please visit this entry from her time in Spain when she called me. At 9pm my time. 5am her time.

ADIOS.

“I’m the only one that sticks around / when they call your name out of the ground”

—Zola Jesus, Lick the Palm

“I pray my body’s right / I’ve got to stay alive / I’ve gotta take a chance and keep on moving / keep on moving”

—Garbage, Blood for Poppies…new song!

time 11:21 am feeling hungry wearing white shirt, necklace from Jenny, skirt reading Kite Runner? music new mix, new songs ready for lunch next eat

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
-Happy belated 30th to little Kristin, who turned 30 in Vegas yesterday!
-Someone I know is attending Titanic re-release opening night…actually, two someones I know…no neither of these is me. (I will be at gymnastics, I believe.)
-Someone I know also sang along to the closing song on Mad Men last night, which was the “You are 16 going on 17” song from The Sound of Music…followup “we need to watch that!” Um yes :).
-We successfully refinanced finalmente. Sometimes procrastination, which we almost never engage in, pays off!
-Glorious sun for awhile yesterday.
-KILLER yoga class with “Bootcamp Bethany”, as we now call her, Saturday. I seriously thought I was going to die/throw up/pass out/fall down several times (and thus immediately got into child’s pose to save myself – seriously, had blackout vision momentarily. NOT GOOD). WE MISSED NIKKI. But we both sickly enjoyed that intensity…we are losers. Plus she was really proud when I did the king-whatever thing in splits (I felt like confessing: hey lady, I was a gymnast, I have a head start. Heh.) I don’t think I’d worked out that hard since circuit workouts of JO gymnastics days…aaaah.
-Speaking of…attended Level 10 session of MN state meet with Kelly Saturday. Glorious! They are SO GOOD…it would be cool to coach in a club again. Except maybe not.
-I guess I AM going to Atlanta in May, briefly
-LOTS TO DO FOR JENNY JANE! But fun. Just…overwhelming.
-MAD MEN!
-This is the greeniest/floweriest I’ve ever seen it April 1/2/etc…wtf/awesome!
-I did NOT win the lottery, WTF?!
-Hakan is funny
-Jenny is great!
-Jeff is THE BEST!!

That is all.

Sunday was a great day, everything went as well as I could have asked for. I got up early and read on the couch, made myself a great breakfast and some hot coffee and read more. Worked on cards and knocked out some pretty adorable ones using my newly-acquired stickers (side note: I will probably always love stickers, if you ever want to get me some, haha), love doing that stuff. Chopped up veggies for the week and got dinner prepped. More reading, more reading, wrapped up in The Marriage Plot. Off to the U, park, take a nice long walk to the pool in the sun, swimming where the lanes were at a glorious 50m (side note, why is this soooooooooooooo much more tiring than 25m??), then stopped at Rainbow for pineapple and the last of the lemon Girl Scout cookies (they were adorable, enthusiastic salespeople). Then off to Cassie’s HS banquet which was fun/yummy and where I acquired a gorgeous glittery red 612/”MPLS” leotard (thanks Cassie!) as a thank-you. LOVE. Back to the house where Jeff was watching Gophs in the NCAA hockey tourney, open the door and immediately hear him cheer. YES!!!! Gophers WON and he was freaking-out excited and it made me so happy. GO GOPHS! They haven’t been to Frozen Four since 2003!! Cooked dinner and settled in for that and the two-hour hotly-anticipated Mad Men premiere, which was everything I’d hoped for – so many subtle nods to longtime viewers and so much awkwardness. WONDERFUL. Then off to bed where I finished Marriage Plot, which…well, the book was good, the ending was dumb. Anyway. A great day, where everything went as planned and was lovely!

And Saturday was great too – another AMAZING Nikki yoga class w/ Jeff 🙂 highlight of my week, always! (even if it took me a solid 24 hours to rehydrate, oops), lots of sports-watching, including gymnastics, biathlon(?! this was Erik’s request), hockey and basketball, and a quick bike ride in the sun. LIVE Big 10 gymnastics, Nebraska killed it. LOVE IT. And a fun dinner w/ a new recipe and special guest Erik who did a fake podcast w/ Jeff. Amusing.

Monday it was the opposite. Despite such a great Sunday, I felt darkness lurking beneath and yesterday it came to a head (the winterlike weather was deliciously melancholy and assisted in this darkness, too; sadistically I kind of liked it). I kept the darkness at bay most of the day through Pulling Out All The Stops but then, total TOTAL meltdown. Seeing old photos (e.g., from when I was 19, or 24, or whatever) just reminds me I am becoming wrinkly and old and gross. Reflecting on the past makes me miss being 25/2007-2008. Feeling in general like an enormous LOSER with nothing to show for it and just hateful toward myself. WONDERFUL (this time, sarcastic ‘wonderful’, folks). Gymnastics was a decent reprieve from this, and Diana did some AWESOME pullovers on BARS! which was super cool, but in general I was a loserish lump of nothing and accomplished nothing. Ugh. Hateful.

Came home and totally melted down. Jeff was beyond wonderful. I am so grateful to have him. We then slept in today and that helped a lot, too. I am a very lucky wife.

Now it is Tuesday and sunny and I had an iced latte and got in to work late. That is OK. Event tonight and Thursday and then, phew. Too much going on.

In other news…
-Up to an average of 3 or so recruiter emails a week. What is going on??? This field is blowing up before my eyes. (“You had a blog before blogs EXISTED!” -Stephie. True, true…but weird.)
-PSA #1: Do NOT get in your car and drive if you CLEARLY have other business to be taking care of and therefore drive 5mph plus stopping full-on in the middle of the ROAD every other minute. I wanted to punch this woman in the face. She kept like bending over in her car looking for something. JUST F*&@ING PULL OVER YOU IDIOT. Then she smirked. JERK.
-PSA #2: I can’t remember. It was good, though. Good + MEAN.

Up Next:
-Night at home w/ Jeff. MIOBI! / MUCH NEEDED.
-Event 2, Massage 1.
-Shopping for some EVENTS UPCOMING for JENNY JANE
-Nikki Yoga Round 3! Oh YEAH!
-State meet w/ Kelly. Cannot wait!
-wearing a hoodie everywhere.

Out.

ETA: Asking for what you want is scary though, what if you get it? Hmmmmmm. “asking for what you want / getting over it” —wish I could find this Michael quote from yearsssss ago.

THE BETTER HALF.

The truth is…
Trayvon Martin is dead, and shouldn’t be.

The truth is…
It’s awful and wrong and I feel so, so terrible for his family. I can’t put it into words.

The truth is…
I can’t stop hate-reading.

The truth is…
There is a higher education bubble. Guaranteed.

The truth is…
Jenny is actually, legitimately getting married in 78 days. WHOA.

The truth is…
Mason is three years old today. HBD to the cutest nephew on the planet!

The truth is…
I may have champagne cocktails and popcorn for dinner.

The truth is…
There is NOT something ‘bigger and better’ in mind when it comes to suffering. There just isn’t.

The truth is…
I wonder what all these recruiter emails are trying to signify if anything.

The truth is…
Patricia Torres Ray’s campaign sent me an email today that copied my email address in the “To” line alongside several hundred(!) others. Um, is it 1998?! I wrote back immediately requesting that next time they please BCC me. Uhhh duh?

The truth is…
Facebook’s Timeline has the first significant event in my life as being the birth of the one and only Jenny Jane. Pretty much SPOT ON, for once, stupid FB!

The truth is…
I guess I did join FB in 2004. That is creepy.

The truth is…
I run hot and cold on a lot of things.

The truth is…
A lot of this country disappoints me.

The truth is…
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

” ‘certain’ people seem to be running comfortably all the time and they run with their friends and all of them seem very comfortable running”

—@Horse_ebooks

“Thanks to the #ACA, being a woman will no longer be a pre-existing condition in 2014. Women deserve equal rates for equal coverage.”

—@BarackObama

THANK YOU OBAMA. + everyone who doesn’t hate women.

Speaking of people who hate women…

Sexism Everywhere, 2397843rd Edition:
OH HAI SEXISM

^ you should read that. Out-freakin’-rageous. “But, but, she WANTED to do it!!” “I thought U were my FRIEND!!!1!!1” (note: NOT direct quotes, but close.) Ummmmm where have we heard THOSE before?!

“If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”

UNRELATED TO SEXISM and HATRED OF WOMEN and WHITE MEN EVERYWHERE:

Work this week has been awesome. Here are some great things I have gotten to do:
-work on bringing the 2nd, much-improved version of our mobile site to fruition, complete w/ how to handle retina images and everything. I am ze MASTERMIND
-help run a first-of-its-kind event we are hosting (another tonight!)
-live tweet said event(s)
-mastermind our handling of HD images and site updates for iPad3
-install/setup/start Android app dev…even made my first (albeit very tiny) test app successfully, OH YEAH!!

It’s kind of great being a jack(jane?) of all trades. No wonder I live in a world of recruiter-whack-a-mole these days. But here’s the thing: there are few other places where I would get to wear so many hats at once and get to try new things all the time. And make it as great as *I* want. Cheers for a small department!

Anti cheers for woman-haters. And those who support them. Dead to me.

ETA (UNRELATED): my horoscope for today:
“LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). One of those moods may strike, the mood that has you looking for lost loves, past acquaintances and also people you want to know in your future life.”
from Horoscopes by Holiday Mathis

Um, isn’t that EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE?!?!?!

“…important, life-saving professions usually attract narcissists”

—@G. Kofi Annan…might be why doctorhood appeals to me, also might explain the awful men running so many things…who knows?!

SO TIRED of WHITE MEN *ALL THE TIME*.

It’s 2012, I should not feel like a majority of the country HATES women?

Republicans HATE women. It is soooooooooo bad this time around. I HATE THEM for it.

Yet what am I doing for this?! NOTHING. Fail. Fail fail fail. Time to form an exploratory committee…of one.

I am also starting a club called the I Hate Everybody And Everybody Hates Me Back club. But it is a very exclusive club…membership one (aka me). (Credit Rachel Vail’s Wonder YA book.)

(Just kidding.)

(Not really.)

Whatever!

“I was angry when I met you / I think I’m angry still / We can try to talk it over / if you say you’ll help me out”

—Garbage

“This has been my personal secret weapon for two straight years.”

—@Horse_ebooks

“Anger, he smiles / towering in shiny metallic purple armor”

—Jimi Hendrix, Bold As Love

“A hammering in my head don’t stop / from the bullet train from Tokyo / to Los Angeles”

—Garbage, again. Also, I am the queen of misheard lyrics, apparently – “all those years you never knew” it was BULLET train not BLOOD train…ha ha ha! It allllll makes sense, now. Heh.

time 11:58am feeling ANGRY wearing dress my mom bought me that passed Karmi’s muster, woo hoo! reading Marriage Plot music ANGRY playlist ready for weekend already! next lecture time

I forgot…spring is about secrets, but spring is also about ANGER. Angry feelings that have been bottled up, frozen, held in stoically to survive the winter, suddenly flood out everywhere.

Sort of like water did into our basement last night.

But that’s another story. (Don’t worry. It was hardly a thing, thanks to Jeff’s superrrr cleanup skills.)

Anyway, I am ANGRY. I woke up extremely anxious, worked out anxiously, got ready in a state of anxiety, etc., and couldn’t figure out what the anxiety was about, until I was compelled to call my mom on my way to work and suddenly it all came out: I was ANGRY. (I AM angry…but, thankfully, less so than I was before talking to mi madre.) Angry at things I cannot name and don’t get to express, because it won’t get me anywhere. But ANGRY. That anxiety was brewing for a reason.

Talking to my mom, mean as I was, was an INCREDIBLE relief. She was kind and understanding and listened SO well. I am _extremely_ grateful for this, and for her time and patience. She also encouraged me to continue on with my new motto/lifestyle of (well, OK, not actually in these words, nor this harshly, but assured me I was thinking along sane lines) F the HATERS.

Getting ANGRY and getting it out and having her listen and giving a name to my stewing, brewing feelings was pretty great. And necessary. As the busybusybusy weeks of work Events in the evenings begins.

Phew.

The HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEKEND was discovering Nikki’s 12pm 75 minute Level 2 yoga class at Corepower Edina. Jeff and I are IN LOVE with Nikki and this class and I am really excited to go again. The extra 15 minutes really gave you enough time to work on positioning, take time to warmup, and have a more peaceful savasana. Plus she was a peaceful and great instructor. YES to NIKKI!

The other HIGHLIGHTS included a bike ride w/ Jeff AND biking up to the U to swim on Sunday. AND reading OUTSIDE in 70+ degree sunny weather. OH YEAH.

But no more time for this. Now time to work….workworkwork. And listen to my ANGRY playlist, which includes but is not limited to the following:

-Hammering in my Head (AKA “Blood Train from Tokyo”), Garbage
-Temptation Waits, Garbage
-Push It, Garbage
-Followed the Waves, Auf Der Maur
-Sweet Amber, Metallica
-Frantic, Metallica
-Kill The Lights, Britney Spears
-Breed, Snake River Conspiracy

Also last night we watched the FRIENDS finale (no seriously) and I read a ton of Marriage Plot, which I am sure I will finish in no time. Totally absorbed in the world of Madeleine Hanna et al. It was all glorious.

Also this morning NPR played both Backstreet Boys (“Everybody”) and Will Smith (Gettin’ Jiggy With It) as examples of 1998 music and eschewed them both. I LOVE IT.

OK. OUT!

FRIDAY FIVE!

1. Because I didn’t do enough yesterday, after coaching at the Parks meet (which was fun, and I got to see Caroline too who is very interesting), I saw that Jeff had texted saying he and Erik were going out to watch basketball games at a sports bar and decided, since I hadn’t watched ANY games (WTF?!), to join them. We were surrounded by crazy Iowa State fans (Go Cyclones!) and enjoyed crab-artichoke dip and a cookie sundae while pretending to be Johnny Dakota (well; just Erik). FUN! The hockey tournament was on too. I kind of love all this tournament craziness. SPORTS!!

2. Jenny, Diana, AND probably Jeff will all acquire 32gig white iPads shortly. In case you thought (as I did, a couple years ago) the tablet world was a farce…

3. Speaking of, $AAPL/Apple blew past $600 momentarily yesterday. WTF/AMAZING! I guess my new sell price should be…$1,000?!?!

4. I am hosting BrigETTE, Angelina, and Heidi-O this eve for a patio happy hour. I have come to be known as a mojito-making specialist which is kind of cool. MOJITOS! I thank Olive for introducing me to these…

5. WEEKEND PLANS: read, be outside, bike, yoga with Jeff?, BIKE to swimming(?)(in MARCH?!?!)?, working on SEKRET PROJECTS, prepare food for the Busy Week Ahead/do laundry/be a Housewife, and I’m sure there’s more. Mostly I need to concentrate on READING and not just wasting time screwing around on the internet.

HAPPY 80 DEGREES, ALL!