lxforever

“Oh, come, come be my waitress and serve me tonight / serve me the sky tonight / Oh, come, come be my waitress and serve me tonight / serve me the sky with a big slice of lemon / We’re the heirs to the glimmering world / We’re the heirs to the glimmering world / We’re the heirs to the glimmering world / We’re the heirs to the glimmering world”

—The National…yes duh

“And the end of all our exploring. Will be to arrive where we started. And know the place for the first time.”

—T.S. Eliot

So maybe 2012 will not be our year after all. (Or will it?)

If anything, this weekend taught me that I am not, in fact, NAILING IT as I had thought previously. Or am I? Are we? Maybe.

Is this what we were meant to do from the very beginning, how we were meant to ‘know the place for the first time’, so to speak?

Rough rough, ultimately good. I hope?

Not the right space to dwell. And yet.

Last night I packaged up two things for the mail: a gift for someone’s new baby; and a card for someone else who recently lost her baby.

Nature…it’s tricky.

Thank Pod for Jeff. For he is…THE BEST.

Atlanta-bound in T-10 hours. Get after it.

“I want to hurry home to you / put on a slow, dumb show for you / crack you up / So you can put a blue ribbon on my brain / God I’m very, very frightening, I’ll overdo it // You know I dreamed about you / for 29 years before I saw you / You know I dreamed about you / I missed you for, for 29 years”

—The National, Slow Show

May 12, full of important things. Graduation! (2004) First real-real job/raise! (2005) And today.

Life…it’s funny.

Welcome to the world, Ryan Allen, and congrats to Christie and Mike! Get better, get stronger, get well Ryan.

Thinking a lot about Katy today too.

And lots more. Hang in there.

“Same-sex couples should be able to get married.”

—President Obama, 5/9/12

HOLLA!!!!!!!!!

ETA: This is the issue of a generation. The generation after us will look back at this time in life like WTF was the problem?! Let’s make it happen.

“Afraid of the house, stay the night with the sinners / Afraid of the house, ’cause they’re desperate to entertain”

—The National

“Stay out super late tonight picking apples, making pies / Put a little something in our lemonade and take it with us / We’re half awake in a fake empire / We’re half awake in a fake empire”

—The National

“Yet you may see the meaning of within / It is being, it is being”

—Beatles…thank you Mad Men!

“Sorry,. I didn t mean to scare you, but nobody promised this would be easy. THERE IS NO. SUCH THING AS EASY”

—@Horse_ebooks

“People lie and people steal / they misinterpret how you feel / and so we doubt and we conceal / you’re not alone // Don’t worry for me / just think of yourself / think of yourself / don’t worry for me / just think of yourself / think of yourself”

—Garbage, Beloved Freak, from forthcoming Not Your Kind Of People…!

Hi guys.

I am tired. My brain is unbelievably fuzzy. I even went home midway through the day (yep, another Monday-after-a-bachelorette, another half-day-needed, heh heh, like my own, that is) yesterday since I was basically worthless, and slept for like 10 hours last night, and broke out the coffee, and still a fuzzball. Looks like that’s what you get for sleeping 4-5 hours a night several nights in a row. (Where is that HS stamina? Oh wait, I’m 30…)

BUT an update, about many things, is calling my name. Therefore I apologize in advance for what I’m sure will be a disjointed explosion ahead.

First, RANDOMNESS!
1) 30s is pretty cool. I met some of my favorite people when they were in their early 30s (and I was 25).
2) Thereforrrrrre I should not hate on 25-and-under-year-olds. Though I do a pretty good job of having Friends of All Ages.
3) The Vikings stadium PISSES ME OFF. Go away you damn Vikes! But then Jeff would be sad :(. It’s a conundrum.
4) I miss Jenny (speaking of conundrums) BUT I will see her in just 10-11 days. Ha!
5) Busyness. I waver between LOVING that time will FLYFLYFLY and trying not to wish my life away. Worth another entry (though I doubt I will get on that). So many good things to soak up though.
6) THIS IS WHY I get so many recruiter emails, people: Graph of jobtrends for my job title. Astounding. It won’t last, though, ha.
7) A navel gazing retrospective, for fun, inspired by Trike: 1999 2003 2006 / Funny enough, at quick glance, 2006 seems to mention Liz/Stef/Alissa, whom I have seen a decent amount of in the past few weeks (Jenny’s friends)…awww! (I even saw Liz yesterday around Calhoun!)
8) Travel. Another conundrum. I just want to travel. But Jeff is so busy. And I don’t know how to best accomplish this, anyway. Too many variables. And also I just realized I will probably not see Katy/Sarah Ko at ALL this year, now that I think about it. Conundrums. Unfortunate. Etc. Toomuchgoingon.
9) “But I am…le tired.” (PS, go France w/ your new president and his alternative-life-partner-arrangement being par for the course. Oh, dear France, I love thee!)
10) Sad day to hear Maurice Sendak has died. (& I know DJ Jazzy Johnson of Drawing I is sad, too – probably hosting a memorial service.) But seriously, it is sad.
11) Simultaneously anxious and hopeful about the Future. Anxious/hopeful/anxious/hopeful. Aaaaaah. Aaah. Ahhhh. LIFE.

—

WEDDING EVENT SUMMARIES:
The shower was a huge success, as indicated. Pictures forthcoming, possibly (we’ll see, since I’m becoming a FB-hater. But where to put pics then?!).
The bachelorita (-credit Diana) was muy muy grand and wonderful!! “The best part of being engaged!” haha. I may write more about it all in my EOTD below (if I dare). Pictures…maaaaaybe forthcoming. Heh.
And Chicago was super, as noted. Always!
The Wedding is a mere 32 days away if I am counting correctly. “So much of task to do!”
But it will be great!
I kind of am not realizing that Jenny will be MARRIED after all of this. Whoa. JJO.

—

UPCOMING EVENTS AND/OR THINGS:
-So tired today. Ha.
-LAST class of tumbling tomorrow, until June session begins. No Diana! She is sick again! Sad! 🙁 But fun kids, so…
-GDHH Friday. I think.
-Busy weekend. Lots to do/fit in before I leave for…
-…ATL M-W. Busy busy. I am presenting twice. This is bad since the second thing is something I know little to nothing about. Time to Bone Up on that (heh heh).
-…then Madison Fri or Sat-Sun. Dress fitting for JJ! Meg/Matt grad party! Etc. Whew.
-Garbage CD comes out 5/22 yeah!!!
-HITF HH/reunion 5/24! I like to call this Fake HamJam…
-Then scheming up a Memorial Day Weekend with Jeff Only and Lots of Planting. THAT is how we roll. And Sekret Project Wrapups. Soaking up Mpls until I leave yet once more for a week in Madison for…
-…Rachel’s then Jenny/Hakan’s wedding. AS NOTED MANY TIMES I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SICK OF THIS too bad. It’s the grand finale to busyness. Yeehaw!

—

Nope guys this marathon update is not at all over. Here’s some EOTD for ya…rather, EOTW 5/4-5/6, in sum:

5/4. I board the light rail, having left work early, only to find out my plane has been delayed 1.5 hrs already. Rats. Take the train anyway with an old man who has hopped on with a strollerful of lemons(???). Arrive at the airport and speed through security, though they did check the bottom of my feet(???). Plan to get a strawberry Frappucino (this is quickly becoming a Terminal 1 Tradition, inspired by seeing Sarah Ko in Chicago in 2005 and she had one [which had nothing to do with airports, but, whatever]) but then see an Einstein’s bagels, which we don’t really have in Mpls? Liz calls and thinks I am NOT there, then I ascertain that I AM there and ask her if I should get a bagel dog or a Frap. She recommends bagel dog and comes to meet me at the complete opposite end of the airport. No matter. We enjoy our bagel dogs and drinks and lament over the late plane. BOOOOOOOOOO.

Our wait becomes interminable. I watch shows on the iPhone while she grades papers. They are hilarious and she shares the best ones with me. OH Dear. FINALLY we get on the plane, 4 hrs late, and Liz immediately makes an amusing remark to her seatmates. “I have a lot of things to shove places…” I decide at that point to sit my butt down. Good choice.

We arrive in Chicago very late and Jenny picks us up in Hakan’s sweet ride. Back to the amazing apartment/cats/etc. where we have pizza on her cool new plates and strawberry sodas(! from EatLiveRun!) in her cool new glasses. Score! Stay up too late chit-chatting, then to bed on the couch in the little room where I stay up too late AGAIN watching Scandal. DUMB. Whatever.

5/5. Wake up too early. I thought we had a lot to Do but we abandon many of these plans. I stretch and dink around. Should’ve tried to sleep more but I just can’t. (Now am paying dearly for it…) Liz and I shower and then we’re all off to Fox and Obel for brunch. Dit and Dot. “You sound like Barb.” 392075902374 questions. One at a time! I have Farmers’ Eggs. J + H graciously pay. Thank you! Hakan leaves to get his hair cut and the three of us peruse F+O. I acquire chocolate for Jeff and handmade lemon marshmallows for the three of us which we devour at the apartment. SO DANG GOOD! Food snobbery.

Off to Dominick….’s, we get snacks for later, razors for the shower, and Gatorade/coconut water for Sunday…wise choice. Back to the apartment. People (Amy, Andra, Lana) start arriving and decorating begins. We then get dropped off at the dance class. Dim room with red lights and NO MIRRORS, expressly forbidden! OK. Sarah C./Steph C-C are there and I give them a big hug. HI FRIENDS! So cool that they made it. Other people arrive as well. The class is fun but also of course weird. Bruises from the pole. The instructor is way into it. It was fun to try! Yay bride!

Squeeze into Andra’s car, back to the apartment. Decorating and showering and makeuping continues. Lana has all kinds of coolness tucked away that she brings out. Decor, cupcakes, booze, etc.! Shower at the same time as Jenny (two showers in one room HA!) then get ready and have a long chit-chat with Andra. She may be Dat (Dit and Dot and Dat, I like to say) but she is all right and it is good to talk, even if it’s for bummer-ful reasons. Anyway.

The excitement builds and everyone drinks champagne and Rum-chata (Sarah!). Yum. Finally we get to the present-opening. Jenny is a terrible guesser but it is hilariously fun and people got some really cool things for her. Yeah! It makes me so happy to see Jenny so happy and so loved. I am obsessed w/ her and I’m glad some people agree! Haha.

Finally we cab it to dinner and somehow the final cab is the non-Chi people – me, Andra, Steph, Sarah. Hmmmmm. But we make it OK. El Valle has no recollection of our reservation despite Lana having called THREE TIMES to confirm. Amusing/concerning. Somehow we still snag a table JUST IN TIME. Yes! We do jello shots on the sidewalk (?!) which are disgustingly strong w/ vodka, then finally settle in to the restaurant. The service is incredibly slow but also accommodating (somehow), the food is great (once it arrives…), the atmosphere fun + fine, and the margaritas awesome. Amy orders in Spanish…FAIL. “I took it in HS” ummmm…haha. Lots of 20somethings talking about moving to the ‘burbs and other Things. (There is something in the Air with these late-20s/early-30s types…not the moving, that is. And I’m still one of them somehow. I am way too attuned. Krepi.)

Moving on. Jenny is decked out in all kinds of fun apparel. Liz gets an oatmeal drink(?!). I talk about Liz’s shoes/blade. (“Nautical!” -Liz) The table next to us gives a stupid speech which inspires us to sing Happy Birthday to Jenny (hey it wasn’t that long ago…), as we have no bachelorette song. The large group then sings happy birthday to THEIR table. Hmmmmm. Copy Katz. Danielle calls for a speech and so I stand up and give one. “Jenny was born in 1983…surprise…air conditioning…showed me my presents…now she is getting married.” Lana: “I like how you skipped almost 30 years there” HAHAHAHA. At this point the table next to us decides to make friends with Jenny. Two guys come over and we take a birthday pic of them w/ Jenny. Sombreros and tiara. They give Jenny one sombrero as they depart and then call for the Maid of Honor to wear the other. ME! So I wore a sombrero all night. Fun.

Limo calls (“Derek?!” I then call him Felipe to everyone else “I don’t believe his name is Derek”) and I go outside to meet it. Around the corner pulls up a GIANT WHITE FORD EXPEDITION LIMO with CRAZY COLORED LIGHTS pulsing under it. In that moment I jump up and yell “YEAH!!! Nailing it!!!” It was a really cool moment. Derek/Felipe (“DP” -Amy / this makes no sense) goes around the block again and we all pile in. Everyone freaks out over the cool limo. AS THEY SHOULD. Amazing!!! Champagne all around. I keep my perfect buzz going, aw yeah.

Lots of amusement in the limo. We go to bars, we dance, people try to steal our sombreros. Jenny drinks beer and I buy her a lollipop. We all sing along to Justin Bieber at one point. “BABY BABY BABY ALLLLLLL RIGHT!” Jenny wears a disguise, a tiara, AND a sombrero. AND a feather boa. Heh. Lana and Danielle direct the limo…you go CHICAGOOOOO! Jenny is HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY and that makes me HAPPY. HAPPY! 🙂 🙂 🙂 “This is the best part of being engaged! Let’s do this next weekend!” LOL.

Eventually….somehow…the night winds down. But we’re wound up. Hah! Back to the apartment. “Is it Darko?” “Yes it’s dark out! Can’t you see?” “Is it Darko though?” “YES! It’s NIGHTTIME!” “But is it DARKO?” Oh. The doorman. Hmmmm. Liz is in bed. Hakan is in bed (other bed). Sarah and Steph go to McDonald’s(???) then to their friend’s house then home. Jenny finds Chex Mix and proceeds to get it ALL OVER THE COUCH/floor as she flounces down giggling. Ahahahaha! We drink water and Gatorade and talk about calling Stephie. TOO LATE! Andra tries sleeping on the couch in the living room as Jenny and I crack up, then Jenny gets uncomfortable/whiney and finally Andra gives up and goes to share a bed w/ Liz while Hakan comes out to eat a snack(?). Jenny is on the floor and I am on the couch. We pass out for awhile. Finally somehow she goes to the actual bed. Haha! I then sleep with the cat curled up next to me. Awwww…Tigger.

Amazing night!!! Best bachelorette party I’ve ever attended. Perfect amount of/mix of people and activities and EVERYTHING. GREAT! Bachelorita!

5/6: I wake up WAYTOOEARLY. 6am. Went to bed at 4am. BADBADBAD. Sleep a bit more then it’s 8am. OK. Then people get up. FAIL. So I am up. We clean up and eat crackers/coconut water/toast/etc. Rehash the night, go up to the roof, chit-chat, etc. Liz/Andra/me/Jenny. Dit/Dot/Dat leave to take Dit to the airport and I chill w/ Hakan watching My Gypsy Wedding. WEIRD. I keep falling asleep. NOT GOOD. Andrea texts me offering to pick me up as it looks ‘ominous’ outside. VERY WISE. I try to stay awake so I’m not a total idiot at lunch/brunch.

It is raining when Andrea pulls up and I hop in. So nice of her to get me. She takes me to a cool place called Milk + Honey. Really neat! I get pancakes and a decaf latte which are both delightful. Andrea pays. Tsk tsk! She keeps apologizing for being a spaz, I don’t really notice this. We discuss The Future, uncertainty, the PRICEYNESS of the city and children, talking to toddlers like people, swimming/biking/etc., internet stalking, coldness of MN, OBSESSING, blogs, work/how work isn’t Everything (we feel basically the same way, which is comforting/cool), passing tests, Macs + HD displays, the spectre of the ‘burbs, etc etc etc and more. Some people are just easy to talk to, even if my brain isn’t working all that well, oops :P. But. It’s a really great conversation and makes me happy to be 30, if that makes sense. It would be very helpful if the two of us lived in the same city, too. Alas.

We dash back to the car finally in the POURING RAIN and get COMPLETELY SOAKED. Amusing. Hugs goodbye + see you in July? Maybe?

Upstairs, Andra is leaving and I give her a high five. Jenny and Hakan and I are left. We to go Pinkberry, Hakan says “Round two?!” and thus it is. So good! Minis. I talk about whale meat. Walk around some more and hang out at this AWESOME museum gift shop (looking for notecards). SO COOL! Great find JJ. We then get a movie at Redbox and ice cream for Hakan (“Oh that kind is so good!” “Getting it!” coconut macaroon it is). Yes MORE.

Back to the apartment, I am about to pass out…so tired. I kind of try to/do, also chat w/ Jeff. I miss him! Jenny makes dinner. I’m kind of a jerky guest for sleeping while she cooks but I am too tired to change this. Up and eat a lovely salmon(ELR again!)/couscous/salad (fancy!) dinner made with Love by JJ. Yum! We watch Puss in Boots which is hilarious in all ways. CAT PEOPLE! So funny. I eventually go to bed and stay up too late again which is a fail. But the weekend is a WIN. Yeah!!

—

Wow. That was Massive and unnecessarily detailed, but I know Future Me will appreciate it. Happy belated birthday Susan! Cheers ya’ll!

Amazing weekend. Jenny was SO happy and that makes me SO happy because I love her so much. “This is the best part of being engaged!!” ummmmmm… Haha.

So good to see her friends and meet more. And learn more. You just never know.

So wonderful to see Andrea, sad to go. Geo graph y, again. Shake my fist.

So much hopefulness for what’s ahead. So many changes every day, year, decade. My, my, time flies.

Chicago/wedding-y-induced ‘nostalgia-for-future’ again. Stop me! Ha. More as always, sad to leave (but missing Jeff) as always, but now it’s time to sleep.

“FIRE SKY BAR CHUCKLE SKY BUNNY BAR SKY CHARMER SKY DIAMOND DOLL SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY SKY”

—@Horse_ebooks

“You and your sister live in a Lemonworld / I want to sit in and die”

—The National

“I REALLY NEED YOU TONIGHT! / Forever’s gonna start toniiiiight!”

—Total Eclipse Of The Heart!

I hate everyone…
…a little bit less than usual today. Haha.

I am so excited…
…to celebrate JENNY in Chicago very very shortly YEAH! And to fly with Liz. And to catch up with Jenny’s cool friends/bridesmaids (really all such gems, those gals!), and see Sarah/Steph C. And to have lunch with Andrea!

I am drinking my first…
…real coffee/coldpress of the week and it feels soooooooo good. (But also felt good to skip it the rest of the week, too. Crazy brain!)

I already miss…
…Jeff. Away from him ~7 nights this month, 8 the next…sad day! But, for fun things. So…LIFE!

I probably get…
…1-2 texts a day. Usually at least one is from Erik, on average.

Well that was a super lame update. TOO FREAKIN’ BAD. Bused(not ‘bussed’, that is ‘kissed’, FYI) in to the office before 7am, splitting at 2:30 to catch the train to the plane back to the train and then to JENNY! Oh yeah! Chicago 3x in the last 12 months, get at me. Also weirdly Peter/Susan are in Chicago, perhaps I will see them…ha.

UNRELATED: I love that Anil Dash tweets about racism in Pop Chips ads (seriously WTF you Pop Chips a-holes?!) AND THEN tweets about #callmemaybe. Oh yeah!

ALSO: There was great news for people I was thinking about yesterday. And that is GREAT!

HBD Sarah Ke yesterday and Amber today!

Also happy FRIDAY!

I miss Jeff!

Who has a bachelorette party on the night of the FULLEST moon of the year AND Cinco de Mayo?!

#bachelorita (-credit: Diana)

My! My! Time Flies!

“…a new day is on its way! / So let’s let yesterday go!”

—Enya

MY MY TIME FLIES / time keeps on slipping / into the Future.

The Future.

It’s 2012.

It’s May.

It’s May 3, 2012.

TODAY I mastered LaTeX AND the pronunciation of it (sort of), brought in treats on what turned out to be my BOSS’S BIRTHDAY and thus looked like a SUCKUP (damn)(I should’ve remembered this since this is also one of my Old Boss’s bdays, dang!), found out my other/real-er Boss went to DIVINITY SCHOOL which is really cool and explains so much, wore a cute shirt, listened to Mass Effect 3 soundtrack, put undue pushiness on my coworker who is turning out to be one of those cool fast-friends (worth another entry), OBSESSED, wondered why Jeff INSISTED on fixing a PIPE at 9am (on a work day! before he had even showered! WORKAHOLIC!), did a little stalking (what can I say), joked with a creepily appearing colleague, and probably more.

—

“It is DARK as NIGHT…” I said as I looked out the window. Dark dark dark heavy heavy rain momentarily.

“That’s because I’m here.” Someone creeped around the corner. “It’s time for a sacrifice.” “I think we should start with your department.” “No, we’re starting with yours, going alphabetically by first AND last name…” “No!”

“your brownie levels are dangerously low” “actually he said my GOOD brownie levels were dangerously low” “who’s your doctor?!”

“I’m going to share a visual…well I didn’t bring it, but I’ll describe it…”

—

I’m quitting drinking except for the upcoming BACHELORETTE HIJINKS and of course WEDDING FANTASIA, where I will delightfully indulge. I think drinking makes me depressed.

OH WAIT. My BRAIN does. Ahahahahaha. Well, whatever, it will be a fun Xperiment, anyway…save 5/5 and 6/9, that is. Hah.

Also working on caffeine intake since it makes me crazy. Except…I also love that. Dammit! We’ll see.

—

When the wedding you are in/working on is the wedding of your sister who is basically your twin, it makes it kind of feel like YOUR OWN WEDDING. Which is cool. But, whew! 38(?!) days…

—

Bus at 6:33AM tomorrow. Already stressin’. What a freaking charmed life I live. Jeff is here. Time to JET.

ETA: Sleeping locations list!
Mpls Chi Chi Chi Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Atl Atl Mpls Mpls Madison Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Mpls Madison Madison Madison Madison Madison Madison Madison Madison.
Then HOME.

-compose a jingle for the intro to your videos
-(apparently) write equations in LaTeX that then appear suitably in HTML.

cool!

/overline{y}_{20-t}

OUT.

“…so don’t miss the diamonds along the way / every road has led us here today / life is what happens while you’re making plans / all that you need is right here in your hands.”

—Sheryl Crow…yeah I know. Whatevs.

“I can feel the bass line jumping / watch out there’s my song…”

—Ricki-Lee

It’s MAY, ya’ll!

I keep waiting for winter. Walking back from the library in the 80-degree sunny-sunny, flowering-trees, dandelion-teeming gorgeousness, I think I finally realized…I guess it’s not coming this year.

Score.

This time last year there were flurries, for the record.

And FOR THE RECORD, time for a little ‘this time/weekend(ish) X years ago…’ bit:

This time 12 years ago… prom. Ha! Fun to hear about Rachel having her senior prom this past weekend. She was so pretty in a yellow dress.
This time 10 years ago… May Babies 21-year-old birthdays. Kitty Kat Club. THE KISS!
This time 9 years ago… May Babies birthday craziness take II. TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEAAAAART!
This time 7(?) years ago… last Garbage concert near me. Wow that band takes its sweet time. That’s OK. Anyway.
This time 5 years ago… HAMJAM v1 (for me). “Total chaotic craziness” / glitter on faces(?) / flips in the hall FUN!
This time 1 year ago… Sarah Ko’s bachelorette. Fake moustaches + neon nails + dancedancedance!

And now, Jenny’s bachelorette this weekend. Cinco de Mayo bachelorette party in Chi on a Saturday night? Yes Oh Yes. YES! Hanging out with Jenny in Chi AGAIN? YES OH YES!

Last year = May bach party in prep for June wedding. This year = same old story. Who will get married next June? My guess is no one (that I know, anyway). But…you never know, I suppose!

Yesterday was a great day for me. I hope today is a great day for some people I am thinking of. And the many days after that.

It’s MAY!

“I was a quick wet boy / diving too deep for coins / all of your street light eyes / wide on my plastic toys”

—Iron & Wine

“I lay roses at your feet / ’til you decide there is something great in you”

—Smashing Pumpkins

A year ago at this hour, a tweet. -@pourmecoffee. What a wacky May Day that was. “A pol had to cancel his plan|For the banner beneath which he ran|Which read that “Obama|Cannot find Osama”|When now it appears: Yes, he can.”

There was once an elite gymnast named Alexis Maday.

Sunday school teachers should not have to have brain surgery.

Perfectly suited lovers should never need to be forced into a new and terrifying reality. (Edit/note: this is not about me, so no one worries. But it is about someone I know. So think of them. K thanks.)

And yet it happens.

Life ≠ fair.

Hang out with your lover(s) tonight and be happy to have them.

& “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

& happy May Day.