lxforever

“You get the world for your birthday baby / open your eyes and say yes, no, maybe”

—Frente, everyone’s fave (jk)

“hAPPY bIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU , HAPPY BITHDAY, DEAR LEXI, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! lOVE , gRANDMA. p. s.yOUR CARD MAY NOT GET THERE TODAY, BUT IT SHOULD MAKE IT BY TOMORROW”

—my Grandma, bless her heart!

A list of good things about today and/or yesterday:
-yesterday in my 6:45 class, Ka., one of my weaker students (not to be confused with tough little Ky.), showed up and just totally kicked butt at handstands…like, it was like she was a new person or something, and out-handstanded some of her more advanced peers even. I could NOT stop gushing and she was SO HAPPY and I was SO proud. GO Ka.! I love when kids Get Things!!
-yesterday also in my 6:45 class, Cl., who had told me she was turning 6 on Sept 25, turned out to be turning 6 TODAY and so I was very excited to share a birthday with her. She is crazy and wild and sometimes very naughty but I can’t help but I love her for her enthusiasm so…yay!
-SO on that note, HBD today to Kelly, Rich, me, Google, AND Cl. Yeah!
-dinner with Diana + a lovely egg sandwich + some very sweet presents! Yay!
-slept almost normally/enough two nights in a row, Thank You new insomnia book I am reading…that man may be a genius! We’ll see! Still feeling woozy but hope to get it back in order soon. Phew.
-free coldpress today (yes breaking my caffeine streak! whatever man it’s my bday)! Then meeting Anna P. for ANOTHER Caribou treat, ha! Yeah!
-Jeff worked out at home so I got to see extra-more of him! And then tonight again. Hooray!!
-free yoga with Ka-Mei after work (I hope). Yesssss.
-almost got crushed by a semi on my way in to work but somehow he heard my horn and instead I lived…YAY! Then almost got in another accident but did not…double yay (no seriously)
-painstakingly crafted email from my Grandma, I love that she does that, I know it is a lot of work for her!
-hilarious/crazy message from Anna/Mason this morning before they went to school that involved them screaming/singing at 7am full-blast out-of-control…OMG their house is crazy/adorable. Ahahahaha.
-talked to my Dad before work, he called, and he then described what he had been feeding himself as my mom is out of town for a bit…”yeah last night was spaghetti and bratwurst, that wasn’t so good”…LOL oh how I want a Steve-cam sometimes.
-nice email from my Mom where she remembered every detail of my day ahead!
-thank you Mom and Dad for giving me life! lol
-Jenny sent a package which arrived yesterday, that she apparently went to Hobby Lobby for…very excited to open it!
-Obama has like a 98% chance of winning according to 538! And 538 also posted ‘could 2012 be like 2008‘ GOSH I HOPE SO…in many ways!
-iPod played ‘Stupid Girl’ 3x in a row on my way in to work…actually I think I had it on repeat, oops
-coconut-blueberry yogurt for breakfast!

I know there was something else but now I cannot remember. Anyway. Happy day to everyone, go out and enjoy life!

It’s almost my birthday. That’s kind of crazy! That really snuck up on me and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Usually I am One for Birthdays and all about them, and I AM excited to be 31, not 30, but…whatever. Not feeling the excitement.

It may be because…

I am so tired. I am so sick of being so tired. I can’t sleep. I am so sick of not being able to sleep. Last week was way improved and this week is back to suckiness. I have no idea why at this point so I just give up.

UGH!

I am also sick of flakes/having to PULL TEETH to make plans with people. OK so yes I know this goes completely against my “spend time with MYSELF/see no one!” declaration of earlier, but, it is discouraging when people you hardly ever see flake last-minute but then don’t respond to attempts to re-set-it-up (last week), OR when people are all “yes I want to see you! when!” and you give them a time and then…nothing (many times recently). LAME-O. It’s enough to want to make a gal stick to the Short List forevermore. Suckas!

BUT then I get to spend time alone which I love so that is good I guess. Just…kinda discouraging.

Also annoying? Hipsters obsessed with making fun of sports fans. You know what, hipsters? I’m gonna go make fun of your music mixes, coffee habits, and plaid shirts. And all your other obsessions. HIPSTERS, grr.

ANYWAY. We had a lovely weekend. Lots of raking Saturday, a beautiful day for it…short bike ride…yoga/dinner with Kristin Friday, boom!, where we had lovely conversation and she gave me some really cool makeup!…sleeping IN (see, body, there, I slept! Just keep it up…argh)…taking it EASY…going to Lowry for DATE NIGHT! then awesome Zelda concert!!! OH HOW I LOVED IT, so great, so many people dressed up (as Link/Zelda/etc, ha) and/or carrying 3DSs, hilarious, and so beautiful just to listen to the music too (even if I don’t know it) and see Jeff so HAPPY!…swimming/hanging out/baking Sunday, and talking to my Grandma is a charged political convo, heh…and somehow, GOOD SLEEP. Damn, what is the key?! But yes, a lovely weekend, if chilly.

That’s all I got…I should eat something. Happy birthday to Todd tomorrow, Kelly/me/Rich Thurs, and a couple others on Fri. I miss Jenny!

NOTE/Disclaimer, you may regret reading the randomness ahead.

Sequel.

SeQUELL.

SQL.

There is someone from my past who has come to my mind randomly over the past few days. And then today I find out this person has recently encountered a major (happy) life event.

THE CREEPILY CONNECTED MULTIVERSE! Threads, all connected.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

It was a beautiful drive into work this morning. There were clouds gathering, gray on gray, with the shiny gray buildings and tiny lights on top sparkling. It was one of those days where I arrived downtown very happy to work (and live) where I do! Oh downtown. My friend.

I also was convinced on this drive that we are not far from achieving this next step in marriage equality (love this phrase!). I am optimistic that in my lifetime we will see marriage equality for gay couples. Maybe sooner than I think.

Then the next thing, I believe, will be marriage equality for multiperson (vs. two people) partnerships (is partnership the right word? whatever). Which is probably one of those things I won’t see in my lifetime. Alas. But, you never know!

I know not everyone even wants to get married. That’s cool. Maybe marriage will just die out anyway. But it doesn’t hurt to let people have the option.

AND NOW for some jqplot followed by C2 yoga and a fancy dinner with Kristin. Woo hoo! HAPPY FRIDAY (again)!

“And what you need / is what you get / Don’t believe in fear / Don’t believe in faith / Don’t believe in anything / that you can’t break”

—Garbage, aka a Sept/Oct classssssssssic

“20 Diana points for that!”

—Diana, 9/19/12

“WHY YOU SHOULD GO TO COLLEGE AT MINNESOTA: / 1. Gotta love Big 10 basketball! / 2. Proximity to your family: far enough, but not TOO far / 3. Proximity to your cousin, Christie: 1.5 hours / 4. Proximity to your other cousins Mike and Matt: 20 minutes (oh wait; maybe not a good thing to list when trying to convince you to come here)”

—Christie, 1/31/00, via email (it goes on, pretty epic)

“#HMFASO to OSU doing #JumpAround at their game this weekend. #WTF?”

—@UWshoutouts, that UW hatred/arrogance just knows no bounds!

the original shoutouts, courtesy cousins Chloe/Matt via Twitter

well geez.

So I’ve been giving a lot of credit to the people who have somehow been able to carry me through these past couple of years or so (duh). But not getting enough credit are the people who have been quietly supportive in their own overwhelmingly valuable way(s).

This is actually much more rare than one might think.

(This so far is just one person, to my knowledge.)

People who are good to you will meet you where you are. Whether that’s sharing advice over multiple cups of soup – but with an 8:55pm cutoff time so you can work hard at challenging your insomnia…or being willing to watch from afar and not take being sidelined due to heartbreak personally. And maybe be willing to try it all again with me later.

So here is a shoutout those folks. A hearty, grateful, wholly-happily-surprised shoutout: for being supported and understood; for not being shut out due to my own shortcomings; for being forgiven.

All of this growing, it’s painful. I can sometimes feel it as it happens, and it hurts. But I take comfort in knowing at least I am growing.

important side note: as Rachel noted on Twitter, yesterday, on the 19th, she was to be 19 in 19 days. That happened to me at 29. NICE WORK RACH.

“There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.”

—fake Kurt Vonnegut on Twitter

Fall has arrived with a vengeance, and I welcome it with open arms. Though I adore summer most of all, fall is a close second, and after muddling through/not appreciating this summer for all it had to offer, I intend to do more fall-like things and live in its moment as much as I am able. We shall see.

Remember when I thought my latest saga would end in spring/summer 2011?

HA!

Remember when I thought the Recession would end in spring/summer 2009?

HA! HA!

Anyway. Here are a few LISTS:

A LIST OF THE TYPES OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HIT ON ME ON NICOLLET MALL RECENTLY:
-a homeless man asking for money (“hey baby you’re lookin’ good” he said; a new way to attempt to get $? haha)
-a random person saying in my face as I walked away “How YOU doin’?!” (um hello Friends I guess?)
-a man wearing a baseball cap pushing a baby in a stroller (very odd, to hit on someone under that circumstance, I think)

Hmmmmmmm.

A LIST OF MORE WAYS MY SISTERS ARE ALIKE (AND I AM NOT LIKE THEM):
-they both got married at age 29 (maybe I already did this one)
-they both live in cities that end in the letter ‘O’ (and they both seem semi-dissatisfied with said cities; as I always tell them, ‘I am never leaving here’, and they both seem vaguely intrigued by Mpls…oh yes! in my dreams…)
-they both have great hair

A LIST OF THINGS I AM CRAVING:
-reading “Freedom” again (which I do not own, sad)
-…while listening to Wye Oak?
-yoga/swimming
-green tea (Tazo Zen to be specific)
-a nap
-going to the apple orchard w/ Jeff/Erik again
-having Andrea explain good urban planning to me so I don’t HATE the way Minneapolis appears to HATE cars (and property owners, while I’m on this topic)
-going to Europe (when am I not craving this?!)
-caramels that Kara made (luckily I have full access to these)
-a lazy Saturday followed by a date night with Jeff featuring an awesome orchestral concert (= coming right up, I think!)
-Hanging Out! (again…when am I not craving this)
-some good new fall recipes

I wish I had a bunch of EOTDs to post but I do not. I do know I saw the Hunger Games movie thanks to RedBox (not bad) and an incredibly fantastic Caspian concert at the Varsity Theater with Jeff. He was In Love with it. We almost went to Iowa Saturday to see them again…but did not. We will wait for them to return and hope they play more songs on their next go’round. Immersive and beautiful. I also did the biking-to-swim thing, I love it so. I also met Ryan Allen (I mean, my 2nd cousin, not like, someone famous [yet, he could become famous, he’s only a few months old anyway]) and that was pretty neat! I also had some great brownies. Christie the baker. I also got to host my aunt Connie for a few days and chat her up and that was delightful. Etc etc etc etc etcccccc………!!!

I also think the Republican party is more or less doomed. No, really! Now if we can just get a NO out of both marriage legislation/voter ID on Nov 6, I will be happy! I just want marriage equality, man, and I want people to be able to vote without trouble. Is that really so much to ask?!

I’m also tired and have work to do so…adios, friends!

I have meant to update many a time lately. There have been lots of fun things going on.

(FTR:
-weekend of MN wins/WI losses
-SWIMMING! and biking
-Ka-Mei
-AMAZING CASPIAN CONCERT/date night
-a guest
-a baptism
-a great doctor!
-a red fish named Rudy
-Ginger Hop with Jack and Laureen
-apple orchard scheming
-etc.)

BUT I have also been riding a wave of anxiety (and then insomnia) the likes of which I have not seen since college, rendering me largely dysfunctional and making daily life somewhat of a challenge at times.

YIKES…….!

But I will say this: at one point Michael and I found ourselves in a similar awkward position for but a moment yesterday, I believe. Weird. But also kind of cool. How can you share just half a set of random genes with someone but wind up rather alike?

(or no genes, and same story?? this too)

Pretty cool, cats.

And now…back at it. MORE later I hope.

L’shana tova to my (one) Jewish reader(haha)!

In conclusion, I am retiring from my social life.

In conclusion, hooooold on for one more daaaay!

In conclusion, Jeff is the BEST.

In conclusion, tough day out there for some folks I’m sure. Hang in there.

Anil Dash is a legitimate blogger for this day, FWIW

What a great day!!

(& weekend)

I meant to add detail BUT this is a phone post, so, whatevs. Later. But! YAY!!! Good news for good friends everywhere!!!!!!!

Take THAT, 2012!! Yeah!

“All moments, past, present and future, always have existed, always will exist. The Tralfamadorians can look at all the different moments just that way we can look at a stretch of the Rocky Mountains, for instance. They can see how permanent all the moments are, and they can look at any moment that interests them. It is just an illusion we have here on Earth that one moment follows another one, like beads on a string, and that once a moment is gone it is gone forever.”

—Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five (my cousin Katie posted this today…great quote/what a coincidence!!)

^ So really I just wanted to post that. ALSO I wanted to say how amazing coaching was last night and how excited I am to get to know the new girls/teach them COOL stuff (some of them are REALLY good! I will have to get creative)!! YES! They were giggly, happy, talented, fun. Preschoolers…1st class OK, 2nd class weirdly/wonderfully well-behaved. And I loved little K “I’ll stay for BOTH” both classes that is. What a tough little 4-year-old! Geez. 🙂

I was SO CRABBY before class and SO HAPPY after.

I have also now been coaching over half my life.

GYMNASTICS!!!

I forgot to mention: I had an amazing dream last night that basically was me living this ‘alternate reality’ I dream of, momentarily. I woke up very happy, because it made me very sure of what I DO want.

Things can be tough when you know what it is you want but you can’t get it (either yet or never), for whatever reason.

But I imagine it is tougher when you DON’T know what you want.

SO I am glad to at least know…?!