March 15th, 2012
ides of March / ides of 30 / stabby stabby
“All those years you never knew / All the things that I could do / I keep them in a hidden place / So I can rub them in your face”
—Snake River Conspiracy
“But beware / all those angels with their wings glued on / ’cause deep down / we are frightened and we’re scared / if you don’t stare // who wants honey / as long as there’s some money / who wants that honey?”
—Smashing Pumpkins
“Jenny: i’ve been reading the same book for 1 year”
—via gchat 3/15/12
Beware the Ides of March and the feeling of stabbiness that permeates. Here are some LISTS.
A LIST OF REASONS WHY I AM FEELING STABBY TODAY:
1. Didn’t get enough sleep last night. I used to do this often. I am now glad that I do not. It is not a good feeling. And it wasn’t for a good reason. I just stayed up too late/got up too early. Dumb.
2. Had vivid, overwhelming dreams of living in a land of zombies the night before that and woke up incredibly anxious as a result. AWFUL. (No more Walking Dead, methinks.)
3. So I am not rested.
4. Yet I jam-packed my day. (NOTE: I realize my version of a ‘jam-packed day’ is a regular-sized day to everyone else, however, I have a pretty low tolerance for muchos activites…actually that’s not true. I like Many Activities. But I guess I am LAZY is what I mean.) Worked out, work, meeting with mentee, THEN go help Cassie coach her Parks team at their first meet of the season. AT THE TIME it sounded good…now, with two solid busy weeks ahead, it seems doubleplusungood. (No. It will be fine. And tomorrow is FRIDAY!)
5. Ask Not If This Is The Definition Of Narcissism, But If Narcissism Is The Definition Of You, Edition 1: hijacking a get-together by forcing your friends to do something completely different, then wondering why no one can make it? Um duh? (I feel as a [semi/pseudo-recovering] narcissist I can say this confidently.)(Note: this is not me.)
6. Ask Not If This Is The Definition Of Narcissism, But If Narcissism Is The Definition Of You, Edition 2: Being extremely possessive of your husband of 3.5 years. (Note: this one is me. Ha ha ha ha ha!! All in good fun.)
7. My tank top is too short.
8. This would not be a problem except my torso is too long…
9. …and my pants, which fit perfectly nicely at 7AM when getting dressed at the gym, keep falling down. A bare belly on the job is not a good scenario for anyone (unless, of course, you are a stripper…or a gymnastics coach I guess). GAH.
Alright that’s enough.
A LIST OF CUTE THINGS THE KIDS AT PARKS HAVE SAID/DONE RECENTLY:
1. Ella (3yo) telling us she had to ‘get home in time to take my vitamin’ while looking anxiously at the clock.
2. Ella (same one) telling us that she was going to Mexico but that ‘I’m going to wear my lifejacket so I don’t drown!’ LOL. OK. Clearly some adult has pounded this idea into her little responsible head…
3. Isabella asking us to choose our favorite between her and her mom (after her mom told us the insecticide story). Isabella pointed out “you’ve known ME longer!!” and then I retorted that without her mom, she likely wouldn’t exist. Isabella, much to her mother’s dismay (LOL!), shot back that she didn’t “need her mom! [she] could just live at a shelter and then have two dads!” HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear…
(GOD I love diehard liberal adults raising kids in Minneapolis. Warms the heart through and through. No, seriously, it does!)
A LIST OF EXCEPTIONS TO MY NEW DE/UNFRIENDING RULES ON FACEBOOK (like, I won’t defriend these people, probably):
1. people who live abroad
2. people who are in the medical field
3. people whose lives are extraordinarily bizarre to read about because they live the weirdest bourgeois life EVER (this is one person)
4. anyone who is an architect (this is one person)
5. almost ALL gymnastics people from my past
6. my ex-realtor
7. people who post gorgeous photos (this is one person)
8. people who might be famous actors
9. people who might be at/in Jenny’s wedding
10. people who might give me a job or whom I might run into ‘in the field’
11. people who live a life like my older sister circa 2001 (this is one person)
12. people whose updates are really sunny and are about how much they value really small but great things in life. they make me happy to read.
A LIST OF GOOD THINGS ABOUT THIS DAY:
1. COLDPRESS!!
2. Great gchatting w/ Jenny!
3. “The Marriage Plot” came in at the library! Just in time for great outdoor reading weather! (Just as I’m finally getting some “Infinite Jest” momentum, too…ah, well.)
4. Jokey emails between me/Heids/Ange/Brig and poking (dear dear) fun at Jeff!
5. Jenny and Andrea randomly ran into each other AGAIN yesterday which is cute and cool. Kyute and Kewl. Kismet! Fate! Oh wait, that was 2011…but STILL.
6. GYMNASTICS TONIGHT!
7. Awesome weather tomorrow and I will be Working From Patio for some of it. Oh Yeah.
Forget the Ides of March. Beware Batman.
ADIOS PARA AHORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!