lxforever

“Yeah…I married a hockey player.”

—me, 2/12/12

“The only thing that’s different is time passing.”

—Katie D, 2/12/12

“…having friends by our side, or even just thinking of them, makes any challenge feel easier.”

—some random psych study, via MPR

“I thought it less like a lake / and more like a moat”

—Death Cab for Cutie, Transatlanticism

“Goals – why bother?
Get Organised
Friends
Focus on What You Want
Feeling Good
Everything is Connected”

—@Horse_ebooks

“…from my friend Dominick…..’s.”

—Hakan, 2/10/12

time 6:59am feeling weirdly emotional and sad wearing fuchsia sweater, cords reading nothing…FAIL music Death Cab etc ready for time machine and/or bilocation next board the plane

NOTE: NOT actually uploaded at the airport/on the plane (but yes on the planeT), I’m connected but not THAT connected, ha

—

“We should hang out in Madison sometime, you and me and Danny and Daniel.”

I try not to get into it too much anymore here, because I read things from 8,9,12 years ago and I’m a little weirded out by what all I wrote, but some things just strike me and I have to get it out. That little offhand comment above from Katie from yesterday is one.

It’s weird to see people again after a decade or so. Especially when that decade is basically your 20s, and you spent your time before then sheltered and nerdy and living more or less the good, crazy, typical HS life. Then, everyone had more or less the same life. A decade later, people have gotten married, moved, started careers, changed careers, gone back to school, bought houses, and all kinds of other little developmental things and firsts and experiences, etc. But you’re still the same people? Is it indeed just time, after all?

(“And you’re MARRIED!” Daniel said in June, as if it were something surprising or new. Yeah, I thought, DUH; there was nothing new or surprising about that; I’ve been married for awhile; it’s such an obvious and integral part of my life. But when you’ve been away, when you were last friends at 18, I guess it is new, and does seem weird…just a lot that happens in all those particular years.)

Of course, we won’t be hanging out with “the Dans” again, but that all started 14(!) years ago right around this time, which seems both hard to believe and so far away all at once. Oh LIFE!

Anyway.

I think I touched on this earlier, but there are some people out there with whom you just make a connection. It’s true, I don’t have a particularly hard time making friends, and I tend to find _some_ kind of connection with a lot of people pretty easily. But there aren’t all that many whom I just feel I can strongly trust, who just ‘get it’, with whom I could just hang out for a good long while.

And then time, geography, space. That geography is a tricky beast, unfortunately.

And your 17/18-year-old brain makes some good friend decisions after all. (& maybe not the 20-year-old one, when you let things go, but WCYD?) What you wanted in a friend at 18 might not be so far off at 30, either. If only you’d gotten to know certain people earlier and kept them around, longer, if you could.

When I arranged to see Andrea when I was in Chicago last July, I was nervous, so freaking nervous. And when it finally happened, so glad. This time I was excited and happy to have lunch with her and knew it would go well. And then sad when I left, because here’s the thing: so easily and happily I could see myself slipping back into being her friend, if she would have me, and I would be so lucky. But time, space, geography. LIFE! But either way, it makes me grateful to have had her in my life, even for a time. You don’t get to know someone like that just anywhere.

(Also, I might be making this all up and be delusional. Sorry if I am, LOL.)

In weird ways it makes me anxious and sentimental for the FUTURE, which I know makes no sense, but whatever. As in, who knows who you might meet? Who knows when the next kind of connection like that might come along? And who knows when you might lose one, too? It happens.

EMOFEST! The Land Before Time. I hope you have enjoyed this and that I have not embarrassed myself fully…OH WAIT, ha ha. Too late. Anyway. I’ve been walking through the airport on the verge of tears, in one of those Moods – missing Jenny, missing Jeff, craving bilocation (stolen from Michael’s wish), a little overwhelmed at both the future and the past and everything in it. All the mysteries. Feeling grateful.

—

And now up in the air. For the record I am overtired and missing both Jenny and Jeff to pieces, desperately wishing for bilocation as I am up in the air between my JJs. You know. The usual.

I had SO much fun in Chicago with Jenny and Hakan and hanging out in their fantastic Chicago life! They really have a good thing going and despite my older-sister overprotective qualities (sorry…ha), I am really excited to see their life together play out, because all signs point to it being great upon great. Here’s to a wonderful 6-9-12, and beyond!

My flight was delayed Friday…drama and annoyance as I SUPER annoyingly detailed on Twitter, ha, oops, but then I got in and life was grand. Jenny picked me up and we made our way to their spectacular apartment downtown. Some food and lots of catching up and LOTS of texts from Hakan trying to get us to come out with him (LOL!), and before we knew it Hakan was home bearing a little tulip plant (“from my friend Dominick….’s” HAHAHAHAHA!). We spent the weekend EATING and joking and doing wedding-y things, which was great fun!! Figured out invites. Plotted registries (“NOT made in China!”), went shopping, tried on bridesmaid dresses (which one? Gah!). Got Hakan mac and cheese (note: not wedding related). Etc.

Jenny made not one but TWO amazing feasts!! An incredible crepe bar Saturday morning (she is so good at that!) AND a fondue feast Sunday night, cheese and meat/veg! Sooooooo good and fancy. Thank you JJ! So fun.

Lunch with Andrea was great and at a really cool place!! Southport Grocery at her suggestion. I had a cardamom rosewater Italian soda and we all shared a homemade pop tart. (I am reading too many food blogs if I get this excited about this but whatever, lol.) Fun to chat. Also Andrea explained Pinterest….hmmmmm.

Also it was good to be in Chicago for that faux-East-Coast mentality of doing things in your 30s instead of 20s. I forget how…MIDWESTERN MN is, sometimes. (and if not, I have my accent to remind me…)

And of course we went to Fox and Obel – super good and well-done, with a bottle of wine to boot – and fun to go for dinner. Nice to spend so much time with just Jenny and Hakan. Watched Contagion at night which freaked me out which is dumb since I’d already seen it? Ha. AND lots of playing with the cats. So cute! They just love Jenny. Big kitty hugs!

Sunday was a great day (“I feel so productive!” as Jenny said). Got up and scurried to level 2 yoga. WHOA! Good class but very hot. Really fun to do with Jenny though. A little like gymnastics together (but less scary, heh). (Note, no, we did not end up going to Chicago Style which was fine – there were too many other fun things to do!) Then off to meet Hakan for brunch at Feast (a real place)! I love their fancy and amazing Chi life 🙂 and all the good food. We also got a second hit of Argo Tea (no lo tengo in Mpls) and then to JCrew to try on dresses, fun and good. THEN to Leonidas for a grand chocolate tasting and QT w/ JJ. Quality everything. Talking about friends. Enjoying amazing chocolate and mochas (whew!). The good life! Thanks Jenny for sharing it.

Then home? And some shopping? Registry attempts. Lots of walking. Cold but very sunny! So fun and a nicely relaxing time. (“for a relaxing time…make it Santori time” ok sorry haha) Finding a couple great bday cards for my pops HA!

Then beers with 1997(& 1993, & 1998)partner-in-crime Katie. Weird but good. Stirring things up etc. See above. Map Room was really cool! And “C”-mas presents to LX from KT. (“I love that you still hang that ornament!”)

And back to fondue with J and H. Fondue FEAST, that is. And then bed and now back to MN. Such a fun, great weekend! THANK YOU JENNY & HAKAN! 🙂

—

Now back to MSP which is good. I missed Jeff a LOT. (Yeah I’m kind of obsessed w/ JJs…ha.) Looking forward as always to the usual life with Jeff. The Good Life.

(2011 changed me – yeah, every year does, but moreso than others, this one – and I don’t think I’ll ever take my time with Jeff for granted again. Or a lot of people, but, you know. He is…THE BEST!)

Life! Happy hearts’ day, if you celebrate (we don’t really, but you never know). Here’s to love!

ETA: And then when we landed we flew RIGHT OVER our house! FATE. KISMET. Etc.

This journal was posted on Monday, February 13th, 2012 at 8:10 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.