August 7th, 2011
woozy
“My whole wardrobe is either old lady clothes…or [redacted] ones.”
—Alyssa, 8/6/11
“You look like horrible ugly crap!”
—Alyssa, 9/7/01
“How you gonna win when you ain’t right within / how you gonna win when you ain’t right within?”
—Lauryn Hill, That Thing
“Party rock is in the house tonight! / everybody just feel all right”
—LMFAO/song of summer
time 6:10 pm feeling woozy and cool (like, temperature-y) wearing black hangout dress music Caspian, + planes ready for a good dinner next cook it up!
Phew. I hope you enjoyed that last entry. THAT is how my mind works. I was going to take it down but again…not how I roll. So.
I was going to/supposedly am working on some freelance, however (1) the files aren’t opening on this machine and (2) I am feeling like horrible ugly crap (LOL, kind of) after <5 hours of sleep and >5 drinks last night. WHEW! Woozy but pretty wonderful. Sitting in the backyard and the weather is perfect. Drained after a 20mi RT bike ride to swim and 45 mins of swimming. (BUT. It is what Keeps Me Sane.) Recovering from crazy dancing/drinking. You know. Still in my 20s.
My crash is still going on but I am working on being better at it, if that makes sense. High-functioning! Summer/better weather/light helps (vs winter, heh). So do Phone Calls to Stephie. She is amazing. So do…friends. DUH. 🙂 And lovers (well, lovER, singular, haha). THE BEST!
A quick(?) weekend recap:
Friday = got home, ran errands, made an almost entirely vegan meal that included an EatLiveRun falafel burger recipe. Yes you read that right. Ate late but was wonderful. COPING MECHANISMS indeed include: drinking too much and spending way too much time in the kitchen (not at the same time, generally). Thankfully we now have a dishwasher to sustain my kitchen-love. Jeff and I had a hangout party and then to bed.
Saturday = up early to bike to the gym to lift. Probably too early esp. considering the evening ahead. Alas. Quick lift, encountered loser trainer Gary, then home. Get ready fast but still late to roommate coffee AGAIN. FAIL SELF FAIL. Alas. Didn’t realize I was in my old Midwest Gymn ‘hood until I got there. Nostalgia All Over!! Honey almond coldpress + supportive and kind roommates as always. I am way, way too lucky to know way too many incredible people who are so, so good to me. So grateful for those gals. Alyssa and I had a dark laugh about how even after all the externalities of your life are solved, you still have to (and always WILL have to) deal with … YOURSELF. Heh. LIFE. Conundrums.
Off to get pedicures which were amazing! I can’t stop looking at my toes. Light blue with beautiful flowers. I am way too obsessed. Such a great idea. The morning was wonderful but did stir up troubling thoughts. No one’s fault but mine, of course. So.
Swung by Cassie’s carwash where the Civic got a beautiful wash. Go Gymnasts! I also got my amazing yellow shirt and had a nice chat with Cassie. We’ll whip those girls into shape! Back home where Jeff had disappeared. Had lunch and did a deep clean of the windows amidst my freakouts. Tears etc. But. Manageable. Called Stephie and she helps.
Suddenly it was evening, cooked a pre-going-out dinner of champions consisting of grilled cheese + coldpress and straightened my hair. Looking like a stranger! Makeuped and all. Brigette shows up and gives us the rundown of her date for Jeff’s advice. His advice is…You Are In Control. He’s right. Jeff drives us to Ginger Hop amidst crazy skies and clouds and lightning. So terrifically beautiful.
We secure a table and Kristin arrives. K+B really hit it off and the night is lovely. Two fancy schmancy drinks (“DENTIST MONEY!”), one with St. Germain (!!), one with cucumber + sake (bleah, but fun to try). Yellow curry. Love Ginger Hop.
Down to the Front at 11 where we proceed to dance for almost three straight hours. THE FRONT is AMAZING!! What a find by Brigette. She Knows. K+B are amazing dancers. I am terrible as always. That is OK. SO much good music including Toxic and Hey Ya and Lauryn Hill(!). AND recent pop music. THE FRONT is filled with a wonderful crowd of all kinds, including many very-cool because-they-are-not-cool girls. AND all ages/races(“real sweet faces/every different nation”-Will Smith). Saw a guy wearing a backpack for his bike on the dancefloor. Danced with Abou and a male Alexis(!!) BUT no funny business AT ALL. Incredible in every way. LOVED IT. Such a good night and just what the doctor ordered (“Prescription / but not baths with friends!” “Why not?”).
Cabbed home with Brigette. Hassan drove us. Nice fellow. Made us grilled cheese AGAIN and Facebook-stalked Abou. Kind of the most amazing person to walk the planet, as he told us at the bar he wants to start a Mpls charter school and change public policy, etc. Almost unreal. But 26. Well… Brigette goes home to get braces and I go to bed at 3.
Sunday = today = up too early. Can’t sleep. Restless and want Jeff to awaken to get brunch. NO DICE. Go to Turtle to get a chocolate croissant for myself instead. STILL NO DICE. Chocolate bun and homemade brunch with self suffices/is amazing. Coldpress with chocolate. COLDPRESS 4EVAH. Way too much caffeine this summer, but if that’s what it takes to avoid a meltdown…
SIDE NOTE: On my walk to Turtle, listening to Caspian, I encountered a yellow butterfly flitting about. Yellow and black. It circled around me multiple times and followed me in this manner for a good block or so. It was rather large and very beautiful. It came on as I was listening to “Vienna” by Caspian and it somehow seemed meaningful. Peace.
Fuss around the house, Jeff fixes my bike wheel. THANK YOU JEFF! So much better now. Bike to swim which is great and calming. Home to snacks + more fussing. Just Getting Things Done. Which. I love. Fail to do freelance. Eff. Maybe another time. Now to make dinner…BBQ chicken pizza bitches. Yes I am learning things.
So. Summer high can come and go but denial has left the building. That’s OK. Life is real and sometimes Planet Earth calls. I will make it through.
This week = attending an EVENT APART and so excited. Then to Madison Friday. Love it.
Later. Thank you friends for making my life.