lxforever

“No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight”

—Florence + The Machine

Churning churning churning you can’t shut it off you can’t escape it. “And then you realize – it’s not the circumstance – it’s just you – and you have to live with YOU your whole life.” Depressing but true? Wanted to train the whole world in how to behave but would love to instead be able to train myself in how to behave, my brain, brain brain drain, compounding itself one thing after another and suddenly it’s all hopeless and dark…dark? Afraid it won’t last, the permanence of moods, afraid it will, afraid it’s everlasting, afraid of months and days ahead of this this this again again again distractions DISTRACTIONS quiet quieting the spiral one thing after another and you’re just making it worse but maybe writing can help. Not this again, past 2010, past your 20s past the past is past and all you can do is look at the sprints ahead. Not a marathon a sprint? Not sure? Not true? Can’t unring that bell can’t quiet it but maybe writing at least leaves a little out there, maybe movement physical activity quieting the mind DISTRACTIONS “you’re living life” are you? Enjoy what you have don’t wish it away DON’T WISH IT AWAY. But so many thoughts churning, so hard to escape yourself.

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^ ahhhhhhhh, it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these, eh?? Good times. If you’re reading this, enjoy it while it lasts; I can’t imagine I’ll leave it up. Or will I? Crazy brain…

This journal was posted on Saturday, August 6th, 2011 at 6:22 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.