September 30th, 2010
What does cheese have to do with a birthday card? Nothing. But just go with it anyway. Really.
“Spectacular”
—American Beauty
I had a most spectacular 29th birthday.
My parents visited the weekend prior, and we got to tailgate with friends and then attend a horrible Gophers game (but cool stadium), have a nice dinner and yummy cake at home, and go out for brunch on sunny Sunday. I had an almost-meditative, blissful bike ride that made me believe that heaven is a place where one has a bike ride like that every day…and lazed around.
Monday was wonderful too, with a good workout, a nice day outside, pleasantly passing day at work and then a terrific dinner at the beloved Al Vento with Jeff in the evening – bruschetta, root vegetable gnocchi, wine, tiramisu, the works. And lovely, lovely gifts, and so many wonderful messages throughout the day. I feel very loved.
My faith in numbers isn’t always what I expect it to be, so while 29 is prime, I can’t put stock in it just yet. Let’s just say that I’m always dreaming of getting older meaning getting wiser. And calmer. Yeah.
—
I also completed my first triathlon with Jenny Jane a week and a half ago. It was totally awesome and even cooler than I expected. I felt so, so good during it and so, so proud to have completed it. 9.5 years after taking up running ‘in case’ I ever wanted to try a triathlon, I finally completed one—pretty cool. The weather wasn’t the best, but it was really quite beatiful/peaceful to be out on the bike, fun to swim, and surprisingly easy to run….that training paid off, mentally, anyway. And it was so fun to be with Jenny and have our superfans Jeff and our Mom. Yay.
—
I’ve been way into “10 YEARS AGO… / NOW…” this year, and as I listen to my fall music of the American Beauty soundtrack/score, among others, I can’t help but go back there. Ten years ago I was waiting, wandering, waiting… waiting for something, but I just wasn’t sure what. Ten years ago I hoped that turning 19 would magically solve my homesickness, friendsickness, loneliness. And it didn’t, and it did; a few weeks later I moved to St. Paul, and that changed everything. And the story continues.
Now, I still feel like I’m waiting, wandering, wondering, all of those W-ings. Mostly waiting. Which is OK, and now I’m a little more sure of what it is, and a little more OK with not knowing EXACTLY what it is I’m waiting for. When I was 19, I was waiting to belong; now, at 29, with birthday messages all over my wall, happy hours jammed in to every week, events out there for me if I only wanted to partake, that’s not what I’m waiting for. I feel happy and belonging and all of that. Now I’m just waiting to see what’s next. And starting, however small, to feel OK with not knowing what that is.
Happy 29/2011.