December 24th, 2024
setting the trap / CONNECTIONS (written this AM)
^ first part of title is completely best holiday song but totally overdramatic title signifying nothing fr lol. Second part is everything.
I’m writing this before 8a this morning while sitting in a coffee shop drinking my last of the holiday drinks as I wait for my sushi tray to be ready next door. Probably nothing profound to report this Xmas eve update but realized this is probably my best chance of the day. Yay phones/(nay phones?). I do want to write more though! Maybe not here tbd on Russia, AI, etc 😖.
As noted time just gets faster as you experience more of it and this holiday season – year – decade is no exception. Ten days til Christmas feels an eternity for gradeschooler2, a little less for middleschooler1, but on and on time marches. (“And on and on and on, til you’re dead!” -some dark-side yet prescient child [could be either!] one time years ago.)
“Sounds sus”
That’s okay. I declared myself a middle aged mom whose only chance to dress hot these days is at barre class as I left class this morning and a classmate (friend? probs, they all are, depending on your definition) was shocked. “You consider yourself middle-aged?! I don’t!” Turns out she’s a few years younger and mid 40s hits different when it comes to society and face and future.
Which is fine. I say this every year but I am grateful every year for the wisdom age portends. It feels calmer. It feels better. I know society will dump me soon as an aging woman but you know what, that’s a problem for the future.
The future. Big broad wild theme of at least my fiction reading and watching this year and also just time in general. What is time? What is happening? What has ever happened and will ever happen? It’s all happening, all right now, all at once, in every possibility in every way.
And we’re only in one spot of it at one moment anyway. FLATLAND! Tick Tock. All you’ve got in that case is presence. Physical feeling. Mental awareness. Emotions in motion. We’re all just here to evolve the human race, some in one direction vs the others (“some people’s lives only serve to function as a warning to others” after all!) so you might as well dance around the table to Holly Jolly or get in the wrong Escalade or melt into madness with the people who’ve got your back and love them right back. Connections. Presence! Chaos. The future. Evolution. Happy Christmas Eve amigos far and near and close and dear. My sushi’s done.