December 24th, 2020
climb every mountain
“Climb every mountain / ford every stream / follow every rainbow / til you find your dream / A dream that will need / all the love you can give / every day of your life / for as long as you liveâ€
—Sound of Music
“That northern star / shines straight from your heart / your looks are evergreen / sweet as the angels as they sing // You look good in the light of my Christmas tree / so good / you and the mistletoe and me / so nice / you are my sunshine over a field of snow / and I love to watch you g[r]owâ€
—Brett Eldredge
We finally watched The Sound of Music last week, over three in-front-of-the-TV dinners. The whole story as to why we ‘finally’ watched it is too long and boring to get into, BUT it was a success, lots of enjoyment of the singing and dancing by Gradeschooler1 and PreK-er2, content re-watching by the adults in the house, and an opportunity to talk honestly about Nazis and why people might leave a country.
We are not leaving our country, at least not in the foreseeable. But it didn’t feel too far off not long ago.
The movie was chilling, for this reason. It wasn’t so bad, what the Third Reich people were asking The Captain to do, was it? Command ships—he’d done that—and keep his family and accumulated wealth and luxuries safe. Just go along. And yet. “What’s going to happen is going to happen, just as long as it doesn’t affect you don’t worry—“ “You must NEVER say that!â€
And yet they’re leaving it all behind to trudge through mountains, to escape with little and start with less, to be true to what they know to be right. For the first time, it felt like something I could almost imagine.
Things are better now, and they’re not. George Floyd was murdered, Trayvon Martin was murdered, Jamar Clark Philando Castile Ahmaud Arbery Breonna Taylor Michael Brown I should list them all but I also should not because what am I even doing. I’m white, I have a safe and luxurious home, I have a stable and above-beyond job, my family will be protected and I admit I felt better when I saw the Black Hawks flying high in June, I just don’t even know…I can hold up a sign and be an ally but I don’t have to flee this country after all. Legit what do I care / if icicles form / I’ve got my love to keep me warm stuff. So.
This has gone a little off the rails for an Xmas eve update, but that seems fitting for this year, no? A lot went off the rails, and there were new mountains to climb. Inequality and racism laid bare in a pandemic of unimaginable proportions. Distance and sickness cutting off growth. Many little mountains like computer school and spit tests and learning to function in whole new ways. I hope we as a country, as a society, as humans, can find a way to climb together…at least a little bit.
And in climbing there’s growth, and while it’s been an absurdly, inappropriately good year for us personally, I’d say the absolute best of the best has been watching that growth happen, in this house. Watching Gradeschooler1 and PreK-er2 play and learn and command attention in the ways all kids, but especially them, know how to. I know the song actually says “glow“, but I also love this: I love to watch you grow. Them, but also you and me and everyone, so we can keep getting better, keep making it better, keep climbing. Merry Christmas.