lxforever

“When no one else can understand me / When everything I do is wrong / You give me hope and consolation / You give me strength to carry on / And you’re always there to lend a hand / in everything I do / That’s the wonder / the wonder of you / And when you smile the world is brighter / You touch my hand and I’m a king / Your kiss to me is worth a fortune / Your love for me is everything / I guess I’ll never know the reason why / you love me like you do / That’s the wonder / the wonder of you”

—The Wonder Of You

“For auld lang syne, my dear / for auld lang syne! / we’ll take a cup of kindness yet / for the days of auld lang syne”

—Auld Lang Syne / dance recital

“It’s Superhero LX!”

—Preschooler1, looking at a Wonder Woman costume in Target, October 2017…game changer

First of all, from Google: “This Year, More Than Ever”

That sort of sums up the world this year, albeit in a much rosier way than it should be done. I have felt pretty terrible the past few years writing about how good the year has been to me. A lot of this is due to the hyperlocal issues of family health (read: it’s been good) mattering more than anything else to me, but still. When so many have had it so terrible this year, and for so many years, and we’re being led by those who are NOT going forth, first, with compassion, then…it’s hard and basically irresponsible to flaunt your joy.

And yet.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR: Without a doubt on earth, the family trip to Duluth/Superior. Outstanding. Tomato soup in a hotel room. Somersaults in the pool outside the door. A big aquarium, beautiful skyline drives, a rich butterscotch malt outside, the wonder of a hotel room, adventures indoors and out. Time together, time as four, time relaxed in a near and beautiful place. News of my cousin’s marriage at the end. Family happiness.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 2: Sisters trip (with babies!) to San Francisco in May for our nephew’s graduation. What an awesome adventure, so much sun and laughter and celebrating and cousin mayhem. Special little-girls time with the mommies. Just amazing.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 3: This is probably 1, but it goes without saying, my family being who they are, and their good health. The kids both learning and growing and amazing us every day. The Wonder Of You. Being together and being well. Vanilla and caramel/snow white and rose red/etc. I am so lucky to have my little family.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 4 (special number chosen for 40!): JEFF! He is simply the best. He has been so good to us this year, he is the only one I’d want by my side. He will read this and roll his eyes but it is 100% totally true. He was my rock through work drama, through not sleeping, through everything. I LOVE YOU JEFF! :*

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 5: Friends getting pregnant! Friends having babies! Friends becoming parents. Coworkers momming it up with me. The whole nine yards.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 6: My dear coworkers. The Big Six. Checkmate(TM). Having my WorkWives to keep me sane and guide me through. What an awesome gift it is to have that. How lucky am I. AND my dear friends, from all areas. Thank you for being there for me.

HIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 7: Though due to some tumult, figuring out a little more about what my priorities are, what I want out of work (that it must be so, lol), and realizing…it’s OK to change your mind.

I’m going to stop there. 7 seems good for 2017.

NONHIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 1: USA GYMNASTICS. HORRIBLE. Enough said. Truly distressing and horrifying and I can’t believe they still exist as is right now.

NONHIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 2: All related and horrible things that have been and continue to be done to women and minorities and everyone who is less rich or less white or less whatever that means many see them as “less than”. What a horrifying time and realizations. Only plus side is we’re starting to talk about it now. Still.

NONHIGHLIGHT OF THE YEAR 3 (hyperlocal): Work horribleness. There are some terrible people out there and I work with some of them. What a bummer. (But on the flip side, I work with so many GOOD people, too!)

That’s enough for now. I meant to do one of those kickass EOY updates that sort of come together coherently and writer-like, but I’m writing this on borrowed time while Jeff sets up a remote, Toddler2 crawls around looking at buttons to push, and Preschooler1 reads a book about What’s Inside Your Body.

The idea for 2017 was to lead with compassion (and move more, check, and slow down, sort-of check), which turned into go forth, first, with compassion. I can do better at this. I owe everyone more. But if we all led with compassion—went forth, first, with compassion—what a wonderful world this could be.

2018? More Natural Rest. That sounds a little weird, but I think it sums it up (and maybe it’s chosen because I am sick and tired and worn out about now). But yeah. Get more sleep, read less on the phone. Get the kids to sleep more (ha! ha! hahahhahaha!). Rest in ways closer to nature. But also, find more natural resting points. Take them when they are there. Take a breath, take a glance up and away, take a pause. It seems extra important in this year that real school begins. And given some things I’ve learned about myself this year, through the work struggles and family joys and other challenges (concussion, some PT, etc), I’ve also determined it’s time for my career to come to a natural resting point. Not to slack, or be slow, but just to….be. I’m not sure how to make it look that way just yet, but I’ll find it. Just have to watch and wait.

Kindergarten is in 2018 (I think she’ll be just fine, but will her mom?), midterms will happen (sure to disappoint), it’s a year filled with 8s, which I generally detest. But I have a lot of hope about it, and a house full of wonderful people with whom to welcome it. Well, three people, to be exact. Happy New Year!