lxforever

“But compassion isn’t about solutions. It’s about giving all the love that you’ve got.”

—Sugar

“Settle down / it’ll all be clear / Don’t pay no mind to the demons / they fill you with fear”

—Phillip Phillips

“It’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you / Everything I do / I tell you all the time / Heaven is a place on earth with you / Tell me all the things you want to do

—Lana Del Ray

“Bright light almost blinding / black night still there shining / I can’t stop, keep on climbing / looking for what I knew”

—Led Zeppelin

“One friend came in / out of nowhere, with lit / sparklers in both her hands for me / and saved the day / when I had run away / to envy and black feelings // And the world at night / could see the greatest light / too much light to deny.”

—The Innocence Mission, July

“We can’t predict the future. We can only strive to be future friendly, while solving the problems of today.”

—@LukeW

“If ‘Happy Ever After’ did exist,”

—Maroon 5

“I want to hurry home to you / put on a slow, dumb show for you / crack you up”

—The National

“Wildflower in the wilderness outside / take your chance with love and laughter / And every word I write, yeah / from that body will never learn / when it’s far too gone I’d move on”

—Smashing Pumpkins

“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

Me:

“What’s the best thing about being 5?”

Anna:

“I guess, drawing on the computer.”

Anna:

“What’s the best thing about being 30?”

Me:

“ummmmm……”

—3/10/12

“Hold on tight to your dream / when you see your ship go sailing / when you feel your heart is breaking / hold on tight to your dream”

—Electric Light Orchestra(??)

“running down a dream / that never would come to me / working on a mystery / going wherever it leads / running down a dream”

—Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

“You’ll see your heart will know / Dreams are more precious than gold”

—Enya

“Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back / Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that / The dog days are over / The dog days are done / Can you hear the horses? / ‘Cause here they come…”

—Florence + The Machine

“My! My! Time Flies!”

—Enya

THINGS 2012 WAS ABOUT: The Short List. GOLD. Atheism. Feminism. Athleticism. Guns. Hating. Hating on women. Gymnastics. Children. Equality for all!! Insomnia. Women. Fake Empires. The markets! 31 > 30. Dreams dreams dreams. Obama! Yoga. The immediate family. Protectiveness. Babies-they’re-babies. The Future. The Internet. GABBY and the US girlies. WORK (apparently)! The Captain/Baroness! Rejection of anything remotely representing squashing of gay rights/equality for all. THE WEDDING. NOT being 2011. Compassion. Jeff Jeff Jeff. Family. Hope.

I just spent part of NYE 2012/13 cleaning out my purse to put essential-contents-only in a new cool wristlet. And it wasn’t nearly as dumb as it sounds. You see, it’s all part of my Grand Scheme for 2013 (see how I rhymed there?!), which basically involves streamlining, by whatever means necessary – even if it means saying goodbye to the 2-months-rotating handmade purse collection that’s been in my use for, like, 13 years…ever since NYE 1999 (no, seriously). Obviously…I have problems letting go of the past. But, I am not 18 anymore, and The Future is calling.

WE HOPE!

Anyway, here in the Central Time Zone, there is but one hour left in 2012. HOW did that happen?!? It’s kind of amazing. While I do not wish to dwell on 2011, the one thing Jeff and I keep saying about 2012 is “it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than 2011!” Which is true. So. We are grateful for that!

2012, like any good Olympic/Election year, was pretty monumental. A lot of really good things for a lot of really good people. Also a lot of really terrible things for a lot of really good people. Reinforcing my belief in chaos as well as pulling me closer toward atheism (along with the Catholic Church disappointing me time and time again – I don’t think I even went to church once this year, believe it or not; just couldn’t cross that threshold…ahhh OK this is not meant for this update, moving on!). I don’t have it in me to go slowly over the year here, sorry, but here are a few highlights/lowlights – apologies to anything I’ve missed aaaah!

BUT FIRST – MANY thanks to:

The Short List. Basically Diana, Kristin, Kelly, Jenny and Stephie. And a few select others, too, near and far and dear. Plus my LJ friends. You’ve been immensely wonderful and I would not not not have survived the past few years without you (or the future ones, I imagine). And a few select extended family members (basically Christie and Michael, and Katie). For being there and then not, as needed. I’m very, very, very lucky.

Without further ado (‘adieu!’)…2012 (in no particular order)!

SOME GREAT THINGS ABOUT 2012:

-JENNY AND HAKAN GOT MARRIED!!! Their wedding was simply AMAZING and one of my most favorite days ever. I just love Jenny so, so much!
-Diana got engaged!!! I got to help pick out the ring too 🙂
-One of my friends is expecting twins in May, YAY!
-Christie had Ryan! And he is doing well
-OLYMPIC GYMNASTICS GOLD!!!
-And GABBY!!!!!
-OBAMA!!!! Round 2 bitches!!
-Republicans learning they cannot hate women and still survive
-The Recovery seems to be somewhat in place
-Marriage Equality being supported in MN YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!
-THE ELECTION! Women winning. Elizabeth Warren! Marriage equality! Etc!
-We got to see Anna and Mason THREE times, including crazy playing in SF AND a crazy playday in Madison…yayyyy
-Jenny’s crazy bachelorita party in Chicago, aw yeah
-Jenny’s super fun shower weekend
-celebrating JENNY!
-being with Jeff, loving it, and working our way (successfully) through challenges
-lots of really great yoga with Jeff and with others (and our dear fave instructors, ha)
-related to that…our HEALTH. We were much healthier this year and we are very grateful for that! YAY!
-my new doctor who solved my insomnia problem, or at least helped me live with it
-I got to present at a work conference for the first (and second) time ever, it was really cool! In Atlanta
-FRIENDS friends friends…friends who Got It, friends for distraction, friends who were wise, friends who knew what to say and do…Diana/Kristin/Kelly/Andrea, Susan and A-K and Amber, for whatever degree of support I needed or did not need but did what I needed (if that makes sense)…very fun/thank you
-FAMILY, extended fam at the wedding/other wedding-events/family events, immediate family in times of crisis, and very-immediate family (me, Jeff, and our fish Rudy 😉 ) always

SOME VERY NOT-GREAT THINGS ABOUT 2012:
-20 Kindergartners shot dead
-Trayvon Martin
-Basically this whole country’s problem with/love for guns…WTF?!!
-The hatred of women/women’s rights/equality for all, even by those who are, you know, WOMEN…I will not understand this, EVER. Sorry.
-Three dear friends/loved ones who were expecting and then quite late into the whole journey lost their babies…14 weeks, 19 weeks, 24 weeks. Scary scary nature, so tricky and so cruel. So hard to understand.
-My Uncle Joe died. He was just such a good PERSON too that this makes it extra-sad and tough. Especially for my aunt and cousin and all those who were lucky enough to have him in their lives. May he rest in peace.
-natural disasters, here and abroad…and the usual struggles the whole world deals with (and in my charmed life I only read about, honestly)
-May 2012. Mortality May. It led to a pretty down summer, which had to happen, but was not enjoyable to say the least.
-a few struggles a few friends are still dealing with that I don’t feel compelled to share but I hope are resolved in 2013, for the better

SOME AMAZING THINGS IN 2012:
-Jeff/our relationship. I don’t take that for granted!
-our charmed life…when you see what other people deal with, I am very grateful to live here and be as lucky as I am!
-a little bit of a step toward the future/good news + getting to share it

2013 holds a lot of promise. It’s a 13 which is Jeff’s (and Kelly’s!) fave, the Gophers look to be on track to be a championship contender once again (hockey), I have some pretty cool stuff awaiting me in the workplace, at the moment everyone seems to be in good health, and more. Our lives could be very different next NYE, and for that I am grateful/WE HOPE.

We are very very very lucky, to have this life and to have each other, that is for sure.

My goal for 2012 was Survival. ACCOMPLISHED. I feel pretty good about that one, in fact, I may have done more than merely survive. 2013? 2013 is about:

-being in the moment, as much as I can
-streamlining…this basically means making life easier, cleaning out the house, and preparing for the future

^ and honestly I think that’s all we’ll be able to handle. One thing at a time!

So Hug is sitting there wearing the giant glasses Erik gave Jeff, and the chessboard and cheese are sitting there waiting for us. It is Time. Happy New Year friends! May 2013 be good to all.