lxforever

It’s only August 7th and already I’m ready for September. But no no no I’m not ready, I mean. Aughhhh August, you and I and our complicated relationship (“it’s complicated”), when summer is still on but also when it ends, and even when you’re not in school (for years! for years! for 9/13 whole years!) it feels the same. August August August. The WINDS of CHANGE are coming about again, I can feel it, they will do so oh-so-heartily this fall, this September, and that’s part of it; the WINDS of CHANGE _almost_ came about in a very Bad Way last August and yet were escaped. And yet…it’s only August 7th.

Ali talks about this not being Her Year and I totally get that – though there are a few more months to go/goodness in it; Aly gets her medals, going-for-broke, nails it, and I know that, too – this year with AAPL and KO and Olympics fun and UX and gymnastics could in some ways be mine yet; Jordyn tries to convince herself it’s not happening, that her friends aren’t going on to AA finals without her, lives in this weird quiet place of sadness but semi-denial for awhile and then the scores come up and what she’d suspected is put right in front of her face and her hands fly to that face, screwed-up in sadness, to hold in the tears – oh oh oh, how I know know know that feeling, so well. So well.

Madeleine and Isabella move on, just like you wanted them to, but still, oh, sad!; August turns to fall turns to winter turns to 2013 and you’re writing the date as 8/7/13 and what?!?; and Jenny’s married and Anna is 6 and ENTJ and and and.

And replaying the Olympics over and over, of course, at least the amazing parts, every day.

August August Augussssssst.