April 25th, 2012
ugh
“If your life was bad to you / just think what tomorrow will do”
—Fleetwood Mac…not sure if that’s supposed to be a good or bad thing, that quote
“Met a man on the roadside crying / without a friend, there’s no denying / you’re incomplete, they’ll be no finding / looking for what you knew”
—Led Zeppelin, Friends
11 days later and tears again. This time not in a Toys R Us parking lot, but while stretching at the gym, even better. Classy, shameless crying in public places, just another one of my specialties I know you must all be so jealous of.
How many more times will this happen? How much of this can one person take? Jesus. Why can’t I be tougher? And I have all these good things and I take them for granted. I wish I could punch myself in the face.
Whatever.
And Also.
How are some people so GOOD and know what to say, what to do? How are some people so NOT GOOD? Sympathy, empathy, checking in, and then the opposite. I guess all you can do is sequester yourself from those who disappoint you, and be ever-so-grateful, ever-so-happy and aware of those who don’t. Lean on them. Etc.
In other words….
F*CK the HATERS!
LOVE the LOVERS!
I need less anxiety. I need more optimism. I need…JEFF (since he is THE BEST!).
But hope, it scares me these days. I don’t trust it. I don’t know.
Ugh. So tired.