January 24th, 2012
Pulling Out All The Stops
“I drown myself in sorrow / as I look at what you’ve done / nothing’ seems to change / bad times stay the same / and I can’t run // Sometimes I feel / Sometimes I feel / like I’ve been tied / to the whipping post! / tied / to the whipping post!”
—Allman Bros … again, always a good song no matter the January
An Olympic cycle is 4 years. FYI. Grinding on.
FTR/for the purposes of recording THE PAST: January 2009 was a shitshow. At least in the office. Drama drama drama and intensity, plus the economic meltdown, made it so. So much so that Tom “Todd” and I at one point made a playlist that included things like “In The Hall of the Mountain King” and “Whipping Post” to remind us of just how insane everything was.
In case you had forgotten.
Anyway. Trike talked about a spell of depression and boy do I know that. Good times. I’m not really interested in going too far into it, but I do think that a few good ol’ lists may help out here.
Also: I feel that the idea of ‘survival mode’/the new year’s goal of Survival has not been fully understood. So that shall be part of this recap/listing. Stay Tuned Below.
A LIST OF THINGS ABOUT WHICH I AM WORRYING:
– taking too much/exhausting the amazing resources that is select loving friends and family members
– destroying other relationships
– how to deal with our crazy 3yo 6pm beginner class
– that I am turning into something Evil
– too much more to even list.
A LIST OF WHAT ‘SURVIVAL MODE’ IS ABOUT:
– being only in social situations where I fully trust the people/outcome of the situation
– (related to the above) AVOIDING situations (generally social) that make me uncomfortable/bring up disquieting thoughts…I have enough of these on my own, thankyouverymuch
– Flaking Out when I anticipate such a Situation and/or when I am not feeling quite right (this = unpredictable, unfortunately). This is troubling, as one of my most esteemed qualities (supposedly) is that I do NOT flake, however, I hope that my years of not being a Flake make up for this new, sad behavior. Whatever.
– Sunlight light
– Getting enough SLEEP
– MORE than I can list and other things that relate to…
– Pulling Out All The Stops.
PULLING OUT ALL THE STOPS (incomplete):
– caffeine and/or…
– …some kind of ‘treat’ of some type
– PHYSICAL ACTIVITY in varying forms
– resting and/or meditating
– reading WhenParentsText.com
– comfy but cute clothes (today: sweater dress over flannel-lined tights under leggings with boots). COMFORTABLE FASHION to survive the Day.
– writing (witness: this; also in SEKRET blog/privately)
– watching Shameless if I can or something like that
– calling on certain friends/my LOVER (Thank You!) if necessary
– gossipy fun lunch with work friends if at work
– more that I can’t think of right now.
THINGS I WOULD LIKE/AM ON THE LOOKOUT FOR:
NOTE: This is very selfish as I have a high quality life with high quality people WHO give more than they ought; nevertheless… ALSO this list is incomplete…very.
– A friend/person who is willing to send me cheesy motivational quotes unprovoked from time to time. I thought of this while I was on the Expresso bike at the gym and it had cheesy motivational quotes posted along the fake-bike-path. It is dumb but it really PUMPED me UP!
– A friend/person who is willing to send me encouraging Statistics and reassuring Information from time to time
– more good crockpot recipes that are mostly vegetable based. Or ‘crackpot’. You know, whatever.
^ I guess that’s about it. Perhaps there is a bot that can accomplish the first two above. If you are/know of these things, please let me know.
FIGHT!