lxforever

“Yeah, they say hello, they say hola, and they say bonjour / I’m pissed I never got to fly on a concord”

—Tinie Tempeh, Pass Out

“Don’t wear that shirt, because it has holes in it.”

—Isabella

1997. (1998? 1999?)
Really all I wanted was to be a great gymnast. And all I could see, or think, was this:

Why I am struggling with these skills at 15, at 16, at 17? When I ‘should’ have mastered them years ago, like my 10-, 11-, 14-year-old teammates? Why is 10-year-old Kristine able to do this and not me?

What’s wrong with me? When will I catch up?

As it turned out, I would never catch up, necessarily, and yet surpassed them all at once…that old friend, tenacity, hard at work. “Keep Plugging Away”

At the time it seemed that nothing else mattered other than Nicole could do series, Kristine could do front layouts, when they wanted, how they wanted. But somehow, and quickly, that all dissipated, and I had a fantastic, fun career.

Perspective. Time.

It was my career, not theirs. Who cares if they could do things? That wasn’t my body and that wasn’t my life. Eventually…I figured this out.

Years later I feel nothing but great and wonderful things about all those years in JO gymnastics, for all of the struggles and comparisons and jealousy. At the time, a lot of it stung, but you know what? It only did because it was important. It WAS _that_ important. It was one of the best times in my life and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Perspective.

…

Moving along. Yesterday was a little drama. Such is my life. However. Something amazing also happened this week. Isabella found out that Diana and I were attending the UMN-UMich meet Saturday, just as SHE was. She was THRILLED beyond thrilled and demanded that we ’email her’ and meet up with her (and her mom)(NOTE: Isabella is 5). Since we love her and her mom, this shall come true, however, the cutest/most hilarious things were this:

1. Isabella asking Diana “how did you get so GOOD!” in total awe, after declaring SHE TOO would be a collegiate gymnast one day. (This girl = me 25 years ago…ADORABLE, she is barely 5 and already OBSESSED. LOVE IT.)

2. Isabella then telling us what to wear. I can’t really get into it but it was seriously Too. Freaking. Funny. (And now I’m actually kind of worried about my outfit for Saturday…)

…

I have nothing to worry about today and that feeling is freaking me out. Ha ha ha.

Also, it is very cold.

Happy January!

This journal was posted on Thursday, January 19th, 2012 at 5:42 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.