lxforever

“Let everything happen to you / Beauty and terror / Just keep going / No feeling is final”

—Rainer Maria Rilke

“Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no Why.”

—Kurt Vonnegut

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.”

—Vonnegut, again

“Hot and dangerous… // DJ turn it up / it’s about damn time to live it up / I’m so sick of being so serious / it’s making my brain delirious! // You know we’re superstars / we are who we are!”

—Ke$ha (and Anna 😉 )

“My! My! Time flies! A new day is on its way, so let’s let yesterday go”

—Enya

time 9:04 PM feeling contemplative? content? wearing gray sweater, black leggings reading Infinite Jest music 2011 Epic ready for Hanging Out w/ Jeff; 2012 next just that

“Do you know I went to Paris this summer?”
“I did know that, that’s pretty cool. What was your favorite thing in Paris?”
“I liked the Louvre. We saw the Mona Lisa. Do you know the Mona Lisa?”
“I do, was it pretty cool to see?”
“Yeah. It was. But they won’t let you take pictures of it. But some people were. Taking pictures.”
“Oh yeah, they probably shouldn’t do that.”
“Why can’t they take pictures of it? Why won’t they let them?”
“Well, if too many people take pictures of it, it might start to fade away.”
“Fade away?”
“Right. And then you couldn’t see it any more because it faded.”
“But why would it fade?”
“Well, everything that’s exposed to light fades over time. Taking a picture puts more light on it, so…”
“…so it would fade?”
“Yeah.”
“Does EVERYTHING fade away?”
“…Well, yeah. Pretty much. With time. Over hundreds of years.”
“So, even a TIGER fades?”
“Well…the tiger won’t fade, because it won’t live long enough for that to happen, really. It would die before it could fade.”
“Does everything die?”
“Well. Yeah. All living things eventually die.”
“Hmmmm.”

—

Things 2011 was all about:
MORTALITY. Medicine. Marriage. Love. FAMILY. Fate. Money. Prosecco. Dancing. Reunions. Everyone turning 30. Shamelessness. Mojitos. Coffee, coldpress, lattes. KISMET. Jealousy. The Show Must Go On. POP MUSIC. Friends. Crashes. THE PAST. Darkness. Bicycles! Betta fish. Nice guns. “Better Brothers.” Professionals. Websites. The True Ten. “Planned Spontaneity.” Dishwashers! Water. HEAT. Snow. Just Keep Going. Percents. Grim Fridays (Jan, Nov, Dec, Dec). Terrific Tuesdays (Sept, Sept, Nov, Dec). Tall boots/trendfest-ness. 2/3/4/5-year-olds. GYMNASTS (always). Teenage Dreams. Drawing Club/Drawing. Income inequality. The amber of the moment. Love, love, love.

In many ways, 2011 was not our year, but in many other ways it totally was our year. We were together and that was what mattered most, now more than ever. We were healthy and we don’t take that for granted. We had jobs we liked and did well at and for which we were fairly compensated. We improved our beloved home, if in small ways; we got to spend time with dear family and friends. We had each other.

But we also went through so.much.shit. Right up ’til the end. Damn. DAMN.

I kind of did a summary of 2011 a few posts back (and it’s worth noting that the last 13 days of December that failed to make that post were rather eventful themselves. Family. Mortality. Love.), so I’m not sure what to make of this End Of The Year update. Perhaps some LISTS:

Important Songs (to me) in 2011:
Guest Room – The National
Fake Empire – The National
Racing Like a Pro – The National
Why Wait – Shakira
What Do You Go Home To – Explosions In The Sky
Six Days at the Bottom of the Ocean – Explosions In The Sky
Color of Roses – Beth Nielsen Chapman
All of the Lights – Kanye
Hey Ya! – OutKast (2003 HOLLA!)
Rolling In The Deep – Adele
Someone Like you – Adele
Club Can’t Handle Me
Social Network soundtrack, esp. Complication With Optimistic Outcome + Gentle Hum of Anxiety
Party Rock Anthem – LMFAO
Sprig of Thyme
Teenage Dream – Katy Perry
Vienna – Caspian
Epochs in Dmaj – Caspian
The Raven – Caspian
Are You That Somebody – Aaliyah (1998, WHAT UP!)
Alibi – Dessa
Crazy In Love – Beyonce (dancing with Jeff to this at the State Fair!)
Civilian – Wye Oak
Doubt – Wye Oak
No Light, No Light – Florence + The Machine
Heartlines – Florence + The Machine
Lyric Quartette (arr. G. Kostraba): II. the Quiet One
Possession – Sarah McLachlan
We R Who We R – Ke$ha

Cool moments from 2011:
– see: this blog. I think I did a damn fine job of recording it, yo ;).

Kickass professional things I managed to accomplish in 2011:
– made an iPhone app! From scratch! HELL YEAH!!
– attended AEA and loved every second
– (2nd job) ran some pretty terrific gymnastics classes with Diana and met some really awesome kids

Amazing books I read in 2011:
– Freedom
– The Corrections
& more, but I was obsessed with these two.

Important people in 2011:
– JEFF
– Jenny
– Stephie
– Diana
– COUSINS, esp. Katie, Christie, and Michael…and Ian (“Go Fish: A Game of the Unknown”)
– BETTER BROTHERS aka Erik
– Kelly
– “Internet Friends” 😉 including Cole
– Family, esp. Anna + Mason!
– Roommates! KLA quad 4-evah
– + all other friends…friends for a good time, friends who were willing to reunite / old friends become new friends again, True Ten friends, GD4 friends, Jeff’s friends, HITF friends, family/related friends…FRIENDS!

Resolutions? My 2011 goal was more or less to lower expectations, I believe, + I succeeded admirably, if against my will. 2012 goal? Survival. Also: read/write/draw. Also: attend Jenny’s wedding. 2012 also has: Olympics, election, AND another Dark Knight movie. So. Kind of terrific.

There is so much more to say but Jeff just noticed the big white flakes floating down for one last magical snow of 2011. “Yeah! Get the hell out of here, 2011! Come on 2012!” he said. Damn straight, dear love: here’s to 2012. HAPPY NEW YEAR. We welcome it with open arms and hopeful hearts.