October 5th, 2011
he couldn’t figure out if she was immensely well adjusted or seriously messed up
“Same old story not much to say / hearts are broken every day”
—Jewel
“What’s true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not.”
—What Dreams May Come
Hang Out Weekend Extraordinaire / “ROMANCE!” T-2 days…!!!
I am mostly OK, so don’t take this all the wrong way, just starting off the day in one of those moods. I am hoping it dissipates, if not, I will be taking off shortly to take advantage of 88 degrees, multiple vaca days to use and general mood-improvement.
But I had a few thoughts.
1. One of my goals for a long time has been mindfulness/being in the moment. I think it’s safe to say that by hook or by crook I accomplished this, at least partway, in 2011, which feels pretty amazing, considering the kind of person I am. I say partway because it is an ongoing process…..as is all of Life.
2. Along those lines, will one of the best moments of 2011 really be this: driving up the Black Hills in the car of someone I barely know, with two women whom I barely know, to the wedding of someone I know, know, know? Because I felt so In The Moment and like it is Where I Belonged in that instant and very Magical? etcetcetc. I realize this is insane but truly it was a peace I didn’t expect to find. Hmmmm.
3. This is One Of Those Days (opposite of #2 above). So far. Ugh.
4. GUILT. I thought I was getting better at this. Maybe not. I can’t go into it but suffice it to say I haven’t been the best of friend to certain friends for certain circumstances. I wish I could be more mature but…….I can’t. Sometimes what you discover about yourself is ugly. And that piles on. And guilt. And ugh ugh ugh.
5. I realize this is crazy to post after my previous post, and because I DO love October, so….I expect to snap out of it, but in the meantime, as I’ve said, I AM crazy, so…..It Is What It Is. 2011.
In the spirit of that…things I am looking forward to:
-EOLAD with Jeff this weekend!!!!!!!!!!
-Coffee with Cole on Monday
-redoing my wardrobe slightly / being more TRENDFEST. I realize this is shallow but that is LIFE.
-trying to run again perhaps
-FALL COLORS
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Happy anniversary Stephie + Mike / Kristin + Scott!