lxforever

“I follow you into the park, through the jungle through the dark / Girl I’ve never loved one like you / Moats and boats and Waterfalls, Alleyways and payphone calls / I been everywhere with you (that’s true) / Laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night / never could be sweeter than with you // … // Home, Let me come Home / Home is Whenever I’m with you / Home, yes I am Home / Home is wherever I’m with you”

—Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

What do you go home to?

—Explosions in the Sky song title…BUY THIS SONG NOW I mean it

time 2:14 pm feeling drowning in love wearing Mad-Men-esque plaid shirt, skirt, red shoes music DMB/EITS/Edward Sharpe/POP ready for dreams upon dreams next yogurt

Have you ever had an absolutely beautiful time in your life that you desperately wanted back, but could never relive, never get back, for reason upon reason?

What if you could?

And what if you could have it back while bearing witness to the long-held dreams of one of your closest friends coming true?

It sounds like a dream in and of itself. And it sounds exactly like three days in June 2011, for me.

Sarah and Trent’s wedding was epic upon epic, for more reasons than one. I was fighting tears the entire ceremony, holding back sobs, about which I should be more embarrassed than I am, but I figure it’s only a matter of time before I turn into a big sentimental crying mess, as I age; I blame genetics (see: Jane Elizabeth Theissen). But really and truly I almost couldn’t believe it; I’m not a big crier at weddings (well: wasn’t), but it turns out 12 years of dreaming by one of your friends means 11 years of secret hope for her yourself. Like Kristin said, it means you have something you’re so grateful for, and you so badly want the same for your friends, those you love. And then…just like that, it happens.

And then you find yourself standing in a park in Rapid City, South Dakota, laughing in a circle with 9 other 29-year-old women, struck by the surreal feeling that this was just a breath away from the same stance of 10 19-year-old girls in a cafeteria, in a dorm, in a furnitureless apartment far away. That so much time was merely a gasp, that you can have it all back. And it unfolds and extends into the hours and hours before you, with laughter and jokes and dancing far into the night, as you surround that one friend with love…for her love coming true.

And then you come home, and you’re fussing about the house, unpacking, cleaning up, folding away your dreams, and your husband looks up from whatever he’s doing with the most beautiful grin, and tells you how much he loves you, how a pop song reminded him of you yesterday and it made him smile. And he makes you laugh like crazy, just like he does every single day, and you know you’re just so lucky to have him.

It’s hard to think it can get any better than this.

But I’m starting to believe it can.

“Girl I’ve never loved one like you / Moats and boats and Waterfalls, Alleyways and payphone calls / I been everywhere with you (that’s true) / Laugh until we think we’ll die, barefoot on a summer night / never could be sweeter than with you”

(A less sappy update to come complete with true people quotes, I hope. I’m just stuck in a sleepless, sentimental, surreal state right now.)

This journal was posted on Monday, June 27th, 2011 at 2:18 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.